Journey Of A Gemini

RAN-DUMB...

2009-02-04T14:16:00.000-08:00

A. I wonder if heaven got a ghetto??.. hmmm.. if it did, who would live there? JUST pac?

B. its so hot right now in my office, I think I just saw Lucipher himself in the air vents peekin down at me.. if so, please say a prayer LOL

C. I hear in Mexico that the word burrito doesnt exist?.. I need clarification.

D. Its the 2nd month of 2009. So why do I feel like I just celebrated 2001...?

E. Memba on House Party when Play walked back to the car after gettin lightweight dissed by Shorraine, and he said "Do I have any lipstick on me?".. and Kid gave him a high five.. how many of you notice how long Bilal (Martin) was holding his hand up for a hi five? and didnt get one.. LOL.. classic

F. Speaking of play, thats a cold nickname. You can go so many places with that.. Whats YOUR nickname? or HAS been?

G. Good game on sunday, I wanted the cardinals to win and was cheering for em like I was a true fan.. Gotta love the passion. And Larry Fitzgerald is well.. a BEAST.

H. I swear I should not set my alarm for 20 minutes before I should be getting up. All it does is make me sleep an extra 10. This is the worst way to add and subtract that "just enough winks" time we all need.. I suck in the morning.

I. DAAAAD iS GREAT!!! GAVE us THE CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!.. memba that?

J. Imagine what saved by the bell would have been like with "Jermaine..." or "Calvin".. Lisa would have been a whole notha person..

K. Speakin of Lisa Turtle, Lark Voorhies.. where are you?

L. And why does your name sound like a star trek character...

M. Dont you hate those people that sit there and act like they aint listenin in to what your saying, but you can see them stretching their ears. acting like theyre reading a book, tryna make it look like thats the best drink theyve ever had.. get outta my convo!

N. Why do I examine my chicken when Im eating it? I know im not the only one.

O. What celebs real name is ERIC BISHOP?? and would he be as popular with that name?

P. RAW or DELIRIOUS?

Q. Whats the point of having tissue that is dusty? doesnt that defeat the purpose of blowing your nose, or even wiping?.. Just to get dust back up in your nose, to make you sneeze again. See, they make you spend money any way possible these days.

R. We have an african american president.. yea, that still comes off the tongue nicely.

S. When we were younger, my sisters and I used to have a national cuss day, where we would say cuss words all day long lol.. We thought we were the business.

T. I feel like watching "Brown Sugar" today.

U. I need a hook

W. Hook- A small glass of liquor, with a preferable mixture of lesser amount, choice 3/5 liquor, 1/5 mixture, and 1/5 random.

X. I sometimes have dreams when im sleep that my teeth are loose, or falling out. I dont know if that means I grind them when im sleep, or I am telling a forseen future.. I hope its neither.

Y. Why? because we like you...

Z. And its STILL not time to go home yet..

B!

2009-01-26T19:13:00.000-08:00

Song of the Day- "Music for Love"- Mario- "Girl we in heavy rotation, and Ill be all on yo station.. just let me know..

They didnt play the Willie Hutch.. but please believe, after this past 20th. I beleive the brothas gonna work it out.. Everything was efficient, and when youve felt it for so many days of your life, and you think you cant love to be it anymore, situations like this make you love to be part of your race.. I love you, my people..

We are so crucial in so many ways, truly unexplainable.. This president brings the swagger back to the president. The top man in the game. Well, B, you got it!!.. congrats. Ill do my part to uphold you and us.

..Im still waiting on the word. anxiously waiting. I just cant shake the feeling that failure is never an option in my life. Like EVER. Im not a perfectionist by any means, I ill be the first to say I have many flaws, and am always striving to better myself in my eyes, and those of the people I love dearly.. but alas, Im still not perfect. But on the day when you want to be perfect, and want to be efficient, not a lint stain on you, are you? were you? can you be? what stands in the way but yourself..

.. Never restrict yourself, E..

..just fly away, to heaven brotha..
..make a place, for me..
..brotha..

Ms. Badu is singin thru her telephone to me right now..

* Why is it January 26th.. ALREADY.
* Im growing the Usher "burn" back out.. dont remember? check the video.. lol.
* Teedra Moses, is still, underrated..

Pator Troys album "Troy".. clearly an album to work out to. I got introduced to Troy by a good friend, and I neva stopped likin him. Crucial cat who doesnt get his fair do. Well P.T. Cruisa... I see you.

Released November 7, 2000... was this not THEE album??? If you hate this, you hate yourself... me and PT criticqued this the other day. NO FLAWS..well not in my views.. cept for #6

Just Think...

2009-01-07T21:11:00.001-08:00

What if President Elect Barack Obama walks out on the 20th of January, the monumental Tuesday.. and all of a sudden.. this plays..

The crowd goes wild cause for the first time in a while, we have a sense of uplifting, and guess what.. Brothas gonna work it out!!! LOL.. just a thought.

..No Slippin..

2009-01-05T19:30:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to allow myself to slip tomorrow.. tomorrow is something Ive been waiting for, and its taken quite some time to achieve it..Tomorrow is something that I strive to make happen, game on lock. I need it, I HAVE to have it. Theres not really an option, theres no chance to slip and fall out of contention for this one. I need all y'all, to say a silent, vocal, efficient prayer tonight for me. Cause I'm goin into the battlefield tomorrow, with armor on lock. I got Matsumoto ("Last Samurai").. William Wallace ("Braveheart")..Radio Rahiem ("do the right thing")..Rod Tidwell ("Jerry Mcquire").. Blade Brown ("class act")..Paul Rusesabagina ("hotel Rwanda") all on my frontline, ready for war.. and we are gon take it to em.. real raw style.. while Bleek Gilliam ("mo betta blues") sounds the trumpet for battle...its time to Ante up!!!! (..M.O.P) an get that doe..aint no half steppin (Big daddy kane)..

Cause for once.. the way I see it, you are everythang, and everythang is you.. (Sisqo).. this is it!!! (Kirk Franklin)...

Ill elaborate later.. once I achieve the goal..Just know, I'm ready!!

G'night world..

Word up..

2009-01-02T12:57:00.001-08:00

The word of the year, is MAINTAIN.. this year will
be the year that I manage my maintanence of life,
and introduce myself to a new age of patience,
persistence, and poise. Of course it takes action
more than statement, but that's where I want to
be from this point forward, and I'm content with
working on my ability to maintain.. and keep my
game face on throughout! Never lettin em see me
sweat, and feeding the fire.. Man, this should be fun

..Remember in House Party 2 ( top 10 on my list of
course is the original House Party, mm sydney!!)
where ole boy Miles with the flat top is trying to
coax Kid and actin like he's helping him? Lol, and
he's gotta go to the Dean's office, and before he
goes in Miles is like, "maintain, my brotha..." classic
part!.. but oh so true..

So, for 09, its time to "maintain, my friends.."

*bumpin "Rated R" by Ralph Tresvant... HA!

2008..

2008-12-30T20:44:00.000-08:00

"..I find it hard to say..."
-Lauryn Hill

2008 is over.

And in this year I have grown in strides and bounds..
In love and life,
in trust and turmoil,
in release therapy and rebellion,
feelings of self pity and self resolve..
repentance against your own self,
your normal being,
your wake up call coming every morning to know thy self,
and to prove that you, yourself
are the on that can handle it all..
my vision once blurred,
now fine tuned like a blues guitar,
wailing on rifts of evolution that only i can envision..
growth that only i can play the music of life to..

though i find it hard to say
that i one day will be better then today,
its still the intuition inside
that guides me and teaches me
that i still can fly..

I hope i can continue to groom my sight of completion.
along with the beautiful hand guiding me in the right direction,
feeling my feelings of feeling for you..
the thought of success never fails,
only grows,
like a welcoming tumor that cannot be phased,
only fed and urged that one day,
advancement will be the ultimate pay..

I've learned to pay myself,
look further then my heart,
envision a sight of WE,
and not only feel the heartbeat of me..
to lust for more then love,
for that's only the beginning,
and to push harder
work faster,
be stronger,
fight longer..
for in the end, its all up to me,
to keep it going...

here's to 2008,
ina nutshell,
my eyesight remains up towards the heavens...
while stomping and scathing the thoughts of hell..

-E

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-24T14:01:00.001-08:00

From my family to yours, all my blog loved ones,
I say unto you happy holidays. Enjoy the time that
you will spend with family, friends, or even just
yourself and understand the reason for the
season!

much, much love...

- E

stylin..

2008-12-10T00:19:00.001-08:00

.. am I the only person who gets really greedy
round christmas time? I see everything I desire and
put it all in a subliminal mind list that I have for
myself. I've had the urge to throw every single
piece of my wardrobe out and start from scratch,
at least my winter wardrobe that is.. I see all
these fresh argyles, slacks, scarves, button downs
and I get to imagining, throwin on the square toe
game and stylin... and lookin fly.. ha. u got to
co-or-di-nate craiiiig!
speakin of craig... "bye felicia.."
I bet if you say that around any group of us, one
out the group will automatically say.."but craig!?"
LOL..
Back to the wardrobe..I hate that when you want
something, and don't have the capacity to get it
just yet, every store, every online seller, every
anything has the exact color you want, in your
size, perfect fitting and everything.. so today is
the day that you wanna have the 17 1/2 36-37
length.. the day I can't buy it.. and every other day,
when I'm able, they wanna have the shirts only a
5 foot 8 man can wear.. man when the cards are
stacked against you..even ya fashion sense suffers.
its hard finding an identity to your fashion at times
without either 1. killing your wallet 2. looking too
much like someone else 3. killing your wallet..maybe
well, no maybe.. I know I'm picky when it comes to
what I rock, simply because its hard to find things
that I like that fir right on me..

I need a fashion analyst..

..WOA, CALI?.. NO DOUBT

2008-11-28T12:50:00.000-08:00

Im hoping that everyone had a great thanksgiving!!!

While I sit at work and all the other folks are enjoying their day off, I decided to blog, since I really dont and havent. SO im gonna take this time to read up and catch up on everyones lives.. lol

be back.

Why

2008-10-29T11:56:00.001-07:00

Why the hell do men talk to other men in the
bathroom? Like it can't wait for 2 minutes until
you get out of the spot and send dude an email?..
Or like u can't go chop it up in the breakroom?
I heard dude today on the phone in the bathroom, in
the stall, wit his folks talkinbout, "yea man I damn
near hada kick dudes ass..." WHAT! if you on the
phone with me while you in the restroom and I hear
you grunt once, I'm off the phone. No questions.

Why does water at work taste so good?

blue M&M's go hard n the paint.

Why do people talk about work on lunch?.. "aww
man that damn code wasn't working so I had to tell
the guy to call back..".. Know what I say on lunch?
NOTHING. Shoot, as soon as this heat cools off,
I'm going right back to takin naps on lunch.

Why are there really only 6 days till the election?!
exciting times! I won't lie, the nerves are a little
unsettled about this one.

Why the hell is October already over?

Woa..

2008-10-23T18:51:00.000-07:00

A month seems like forever when your not in blog land.. jeesh!!

Well, here goes..

1. I started working out officially October 2nd. And basically go 6 times a week, with inspiration from PT. We workin it out tuff!!! Hittin the weights, the bikes, the treadmill.. lets get it baby! Im up in there with the roid rage fellows, and all the moms that had babies tryna lose that fresh 25 they put on from the pregnancy.. yee! (sidenote: if theres one majority race that goes to the the gym, its asians. Nothing against the workout kind, but if another lil 5ft 2in asian man sneaks his way before me on the curl machine, ima pick him up and bench press him..through the window. ) My goal, to have some more muscle mass by January 09.

2. Works officially, official. I got my 730 shift back, which makes me more then happy. Its amazing how much 45 minutes does to your grumpiness in the morning..

3. Ive been on a music downloading craze lately.. all kinds. Im trying to stack up for the winter.

4. I have friends who arent voting this election.. and to them i clearly say (clears throat. bringin it from the diaphragm).. FUUUUUCKKKK.. YOUUUUUUUUUU.. you no good summama somethins.. no respect for those who died for your right, no respect for your family lineage no matter what race, and no respect for yourself.. it takes less time to vote then it does to use the bathroom, yet you would much rather have ya head up ya ass cause "you know whos gon win..", or "yo vote dont count anyways".. This is America, where anything can and will happen to NOT allow someone like my future president to get ahead.. simple simon muthafucka..

5. Chris Rock's comedy special is like all of his, to the point.. his joke about people with carers and people who just work, is clearly on point.. Im the one who is always lookin at the clock wondering why it took an hour to get from 1025 to 1044.. LOL

6. yall miss me? prolly not..

7. Whats the deal with my cowboys.. aw man, it hurts me soul to see this happening.. we will bounce back. im sincere about that one. If I have to fly down to TX myself and give a swift kick in the ass to all 55 of em wit a knife edged brogain on..

8. Today was probably the longest day ive had at work by far. You ever sit at work in the same position at your desk just cause your too lazy to move out of fright that you might use all your energy and fall right aslep? Im talkin answerin folks questions that sit right next to you in the form of an email... LAZY.

9. Just cause it goes so hard in the paint..(4:50-5:10.. I see you Nupe!)

10. And who said lil white boys have no gigs..

holler.

..Wait. Wut?

2008-09-18T17:46:00.000-07:00

"Hada feeling, that it would be a day like this.. tha orchestra in my mind, dont play like this..."

- Lupe Fiasco

Well, the word of the month is early.. cause everything seems to take place so early. I have yet to maintain the effect of getting up while the sun is still down, though I still manage to throw myself out of bed at 550am every morning, Monday thru Friday, and drive to work on numb state.. Ever drive to work numb, not really paying attention to whats going on around you?? I mean really not paying attention.. just.. driving.. not until my car sputtered and I realized that I hadn't put oil in my vehicle in quite some time, and I had to pull over into the gas station and get gas.. and oil.. and reach in the water with the window cleaner and dump it all ova my face to wake up.. (ok that didn't happen.. but you get it..), did I actually realize that it happens quite often with me. I feel like a robot at times in the morning.

I'm really feeling like the more and more I go through the week, that I sincerely have no clothes to wear. I mean I can look around my room, in the closet, and just think to myself "I could really just throw all these clothes away (cept my suits) and start from scratch.. man, if only I had money to burn LOL. Wouldn't it be nice to just throw all ya stuff away and then go pick out a whole new wardrobe. I need to start doing like I did back in grade school. Go to the store and get a new look for the next school year. Only thing, that was mom and dads money LOL

.. My damn cowboys lost yesterday. AND the gators lost on Saturday. It seems that's how it happens, if one loses, the next loses right in stride. I was pissed to say the least, and then, my momma says.. "you woulda thought you bet money on this game?!?! y'all act like you play for the cowboys..".. LIFE HOURS momma.. LIFE HOURS.. I put in a lotta hours watchin cowboy games a year (16 weeks x 3 1/2 hrs a game.. ).. not to mention the time spent reppin the cowboys (work ranting, bar ranting, fantasy players, shit talking excessively, etc..) I mean, if the cowboys had a stock, Id be in the damn Board of Directors... (feel me EB, PrettyBlack).

-Ever notice that "Slim" from 112 , ain't really that slim.. or is it just me? YOUR LEEHHHTAAAH

-I'm tired of seeing this... " hey I'm (insert new big booty model, or artist tryna make a comeback), if you wanna call me, hit me at....."

-Hi, Im SWAG, if you wanna call me hit me at 916-202-youmustbedesperate

-Im gonna make my own stupid song with a catchy tune, and I'ma call it "too many minutes on my cell phone plan".. anybody wanna do the Roger Troutman voiceover for me?? TOO OUUUh MUYAAUUUUCH MINAAYUUUTTES... say it out loud.. then you'll feel me.

-Lloyd's new album should have had a few songs from "Street Love" on it.

-Jazmine Sullivan's not scared of "Lions, Tigers, and Bears.." but she is of love.. I don't know, if I saw mufasa runnin up to me, Love would seem a lot easier..

-Funny how stuff comes full circle.. when I was younger, I woulda sold my soul to trade my sandwich in my lunch to someone for some fruit snacks, or a donut, or something from hostess. Today? Id give anything for a sandwich and soup combo, and cant stand eating donuts, unless its really time to eat donuts..

Its already Tuesday!!!! Lets think optimistic for the rest of 08. The end of the day means the coming (GOD willing) of the next day of your life.. and as always, remember..

..The safest place to be, is in the presence of GOD..

Twos-day

2008-09-16T15:39:00.001-07:00

"And I'm back on my grind, my psychic read ma
lifeline,..." - Kanye West

1.So how the hell does the vending machine take my
2 dollars that I put into it tryna get me a lunchable
so I can munch in training!!!!! What the f! So please
believe that I called the people and they are sendin
my 2 dollars to my home address..

2. I'm tired of training, I need to get outta the area
of these folks who are slower than usual, yes I
realize that some of us are accelerated, but some
of these folks in the class have ZERO sense... You
know when you see someone in the class you know
won't make it? well I see about 3 people. Womp.

3. I swear my truck has the worst luck. I'm driving
home yesterday, and boom, the damn right side
speaker blows out. I wasn't even bumpin!!!

4. I'm seriously contemplating taking something like
a cooking appreciation class cause I'm learning to
love it more and more. Watching all these cooking
shows and such, and I must say I'm getting better.

5. anybody see my COWBOYS get in that ass? pop
and I damn near lost our voices last night over it,
great job by the offense, defense needs to step it
up, and Roy Williams needs to get off my program.
I'm glad he got benched. F'in up my program!!!!

6. What's with people and funkiness? I always
wonder, can they smell themselves? Do they
understand they don't smell well? how long does
it take until you realize "man I'm kinda tart.."

7. Remember those "sure" deodorant commercials?
"raise your hand if your sure!"... well my trainer is
clearly not sure. She needs to wear some "strong
enough for a man.. but ph balanced for a woman"
funk repellant.. she weats like MJ in the 4th
quarter of game 7 with 10 seconds left.. jeesh

8. I miss my blog family.

..You'll neva have to beg, me to come to bed..

2008-09-03T17:43:00.001-07:00

..."ill walk you there, each night.."

I like Jazmine Sullivans song. Matter of fact I like
all of her material I have heard thus far. She gives
me a Lauryn Hillish feel when I hear her. And I kno
that her song is a hit, cause even my boys sing it.
That's how ya know when a song is a hit, when the
men start singing a ladies song.. "bad as the air I
breaaaathe"... LOL

So its hot still, I can't keep coming outside from
work and training and almost passin out from heat
intake.. lawd.. my trucks windshield is cracked, its
one of those cracks that happened 3 days after I
picked up a new one, which pissed me off.
Am I the only one who can imagine the windshield
bursting while I'm drivin on the freeway one day?
that would be huck..

Radio stations are stupid. So our local radio station
is having a contest to see who the biggest MILF
is in my city..HOW DUMB IS THIS. So ya got all
these women calling in tryna pump themselves up,
shoutin out their myspace links to check em out,
at their milfish best.. see this is why I don't listen
to the radio.. "TURN YO RADIO DOWN, TURN YO
RADIO DOWWWN!" Plus our station doesn't play
anything but the current top 40, who's the say
that when I'm drivin to work in the morning I don't
wanna hear some Raphael Saadiq? NOT the same
ole Lil Wayne.. but I digress..

At least payday is tomorrow..drinks on me!

Clarity.

2008-08-26T22:22:00.000-07:00

“I cant see myself anywhere but here.. the outlook seems so clear”

So this is the final job of the 2008 season for me.. I finally pulled down something that has the convenience of good gas mileage, good pay, benefits up the yin yang, and a comfortable environment with the ability to achieve and accelerate my pay quickly. Its been a tough road to pave this 2008, I look back at the first 8 months and it really has come to pass.. FINALLY. My goodness, I swear I've blogged about each and every job that I have had this year, with the hopes that it would be the one.. But nonetheless, they didn’t pan out. I can say it though, I’m not doing any temp jobs anymore, no jobs with all the right things but then one major wrong, its all come to fruition.. PHEW..I promise!

Well, except for the getting up at 6:20 every morning thing.. But I doubt that will ever come into play when it comes to my money.

I was watching Hilary Clinton’s speech this evening at the Democratic convention, and I caught myself laughing. Not at her, nor the convention ( if anything I was happy that the whole thing was centered around OBAMA), but I was laughing at my parents. And I sat back and thought about how my political views re, and how they are close to or different from my parents. How they yell at the TV when a bad thing is said about O, and I jump in and say it too.. but then it dawned on me how sometimes I say things that make the utmost sense, and they don’t even notice that they are taking a backseat to what I’ve just said and now are in full agreement with me. LOL. The son being the teacher to the parent? Sometimes it happens I guess.

Summers almost over. Its been a hot one. Off top. I mean I haven’t gone swimming once this summer.. NOT ONCE! I can actually say that I am ready for the colder weather to come so I can start rockin a pea coat again! Shoot I haven’t bbq’ed in almost a month. The urges have been lost, and I’ve been cookin in the house instead. WTF?

What you know bout goin to bed before 12? Shit I thought I didn’t know, until that 6 started showin up when my alarm beeps..

Parlay..

WHOOOS THE MEANEST!!

2008-08-21T20:21:00.001-07:00

RIP SHONUFF...

Actor Julius Carry has died. He was 56.
The star passed away on Tuesday, according to MediaTakeOut.com, but details of his death have yet to be released.
Carry was most famous for his role as Sho Nuff in cult 1985 martial arts film The Last Dragon. He enjoyed a long career in the TV industry, starring in shows such as 1989's Doctor, Doctor and making notable appearances in JAG, Diagnosis Murder and Spin City.

DAMN.... he went so hard..

Get me 2 CC's, STAT!

2008-08-18T15:48:00.000-07:00

So my new name is Nurse Eric..

Ma dukes had knee replacement surgery on Monday of last week, a hectic process to say the least.. Shes a Strong lady, and I really think this was the right thing to do seeing as shes been havin knee problems for the latter of 20 years. So she finally took care of the process.. Only thing is, this is gonna be a pretty hectic rehab process.

Shes been home since Thursday of last week, and since I'm at home until the J.O.B. starts next week, Ive been playing nurse. Not to my chagrin or anything, I wouldn't have it any other way simply because of the fact that I love my mother to death, and want to make sure shes taken care of. Even if it means less and less sleep, and countless phone calls to ma cell phone LOL.. hell, it doesn't ring much anymore anyways. But it is hectic on her as a woman, and I know it wrenches her to not be able to be as mobile as she was before. In 6 to 8 Weeks though, she will be up and walking, even with the help of a cane, but her spirits should be high.

I wont lie, its a little annoying at times when some folks undermine your ability to take care of business, feeling that you are incapable of handling it all. I'm the baby boy, so lets just call it the baby boy syndrome.. and I ain't talking bout Tyrese AKA Jody either..Maybe I just don't like to feel like people in my family don't have confidence in me to accomplish a task, but damn.. Im 25. I have common sense. And if anybody wants the transition that momma has to go thru to get better smooth, its me. Ive always maintained to be the one out of the 3 children she has to lag back and ensure that everything is sufficient and taken care of while the other 2 go about their business. Your mind almost makes you have a mommas boy mentality in a sense when your the only boy, and the youngest...

So as I sit and sip this Heineken from the bottle, and relax my mind as well as my body, I think that the rest of this week should be a good one, at least I'm hoping. Let me ask, do you ever get the feeling that people, preferably the elders in your family look at you as if you aren't able to accomplish even the smallest task???.. I mean damn, my grandmother called me a baby today LOL.. " that baby don't need to be doin that.." WTF?

Take me away Mr. Mayer....cause I don't wanna let it take me down..

BLOO JEENS..

2008-08-09T12:31:00.000-07:00

why is it already august??? jeesh

sooo..

1. I promised myself im gonna have a better second half to the 2008 season, and so far its going ok.. finally got something stable to hold on to with this job situation.. jeesh, been a long ride

2. havent really wanted to blog, theres really been nothing tearing at my mind as of late..

3. Im happy, I guess.

4. My momma is havin knee replacement surgery on monday, a little nervous about it, but I know that she will pull through fine.. shes a soldier when it comes to surgery.. I dont know how she does it, shoot only thing thats ever happened to me was a broken wrist..

5.. which leads me to ask.. why when you break your wrist or have wrist problems (carpel tunnel) do you have to get a shot in ya booty???????

6. I like money..

7.. which means I need more of it to love it.

8. Will Ferrell is so stupid HAHAHA

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE!

9. HARD KNOCKS-DALLAS COWBOYS.. I suggest all you haters of americas team watch it and realize who your next super bowl champions will be.. know it, love it, believe in it..

Headed to a wedding lol. THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING.

Following suit

2008-07-28T17:23:00.001-07:00

I'm following suit wit this one LOL

10 random things bout me!

1. I hate wearing watches.. just annoys my wrist
2. I wear sean john "unforgivable"
3. Im infatuated with Nike Dunks
4. I listen to music regardless of what I am doing.. REGARDLESS..
5. I do most of the maintenance on my vehicles
6. I do them cause my father taught me all about basic vehicle maintanence
7. I have long ass eyelashes
8. I hate people who repeat themselves a lot
9. I bite my nails a lot, especially when playin the Playstation
10. I drive a bovarian motor works vehicle.. LOL

9 things to win my heart..

1. keep it real
2. Maintain confidence in me
3. COMMUNICATE
4. be spontaneous
5. be family oriented
6. Have goals
7. maintain yourself
8. rub my head lol
9. love yourself
10. DONT TRY.

8 things I wanna do before I die...

1. Go to Africa
2. Have children
3. Get married
4. Skydive
5. Drive a race car
6. Coordinate my own family reuinion
7. Start my own non-profit organzation
8. take MY FAMILY to church

7 ways to annoy me..

1. Double text me
2. repeat yourself to me too many times in a short period of time
3. have bad hygiene
4. Keep ma waiting
5. doubt me
6. micro-manage me
7. excessive critcism

6 Things I believe in..

1. GOD
2. LOVE
3. my family
4. my confidence
5. equality
6. never saying "cant"

5 things im afraid of..

1. failure
2. stagnance
3. failure
4. throat cuts
5. failure

4 of my favorite things

1. my PT
2. quality time
3. DALLAS COWBOYS
4. freedom

3 things I do everyday

1. QT with PT
2. wash my ass
3. work

2 Things I want to do right now

1. Jump in the SPA
2. EAT!

1 Person I want to see.

1. My uncle kerry who passed in 2005

Everything I touch.. turns to gold

2008-07-22T17:03:00.001-07:00

I hate when motorcycle drivers try and slither
their way in between people when your sitting in
traffic. One of these days I'm gonna open ma door
and watch mr. motorcycle man go flying. I mean
there's no reason why I should have to veer to the
right a little just cause you wanna slither thru..

You ever feel like your achieving greatness at a
craft that u have repeated for an amount of time
to the point where you don't even feel like you
have to prepare for the next time you do it? To
be honest, I'm like that with interviews.. I have had
2 too many this last year, and it seems that I have
just becomed accustomed to being mr. professional
when I sit down in front of mr. john doe and the
panel of tight asses looking for their next money-
making workhorse.. I flash the pearlies, shake the
hand with authority, and with the ring of the bell
I'm goin for blood. Answerin questions with the
utmost efficiency, making all the eye contact in
the world (not too long for the males).. Using the
old school Bill Clinton hand motions to explain a
"good point"...its all become the norm.. and I leave
the site thinking, "another one bites the dust..."

..until I don't get the job.. LOL. But that hasn't
happened yet this year, so hopefully when that big
bad state gig comes knocking at my door, Ill be
able to put on that same hat.. and SWAG the hell
out them tight asses...

Previous Cats

2008-07-17T16:22:00.001-07:00

Song of the day: "Previous cats" by Musiq- "I'm not
steven/anthony even/leroy or ivan/damn girl I've
been/ right there for you/since day one/ so where is
all this comin from...?

I was led in the direction of an interesting question
today about sex and abundance of partners. It was
interesting because of course people always wanna
know how many people someone has slept with.
Say being in a relationship with someone, and the
issue of how many comes up. Its interesting to me
to hear peoples insights because you have 2
extremes to the answer. I've known couples who
have broken up over the number of people the other
has frequented in their life, simply because he/she
was dissapointed in the number, and thus felt
"betrayed" by their spouse. Then you have the
other side that maintains that yes, while it may be
more than you wanted to know or thought of, you
understand that life is life, and there's no reason to
dwell on previous happenings. Noone can go back
and change what they have done and whom with.

I always wonder why someones spouse would get
angered by the previous happenings of ones prior
loves, interests, lusts, etc.. If indeed there is a
form of honesty in a relationship, and it is kept
as "real" as possible for the sake of growth in the
relationship, why if someone is being on the up and
up with someone deemed as bad if what is revealed
is hurtful?

Ill be the first to say, yes when I was younger, I
would have a small issue, or feeling in the pit of my
stomach when I found out something I didn't know
about my spouse from her previous, not fully in
understanding of why.. But as I get older, I say
I don't care. Noone you come across nowadays will
ever have the angelic story of, oh I've never blah
blah blah...(maybe except desy.. ;)) but its very
hard to find that. Instead, finding someone with
a feeling of self acceptance is clearly removing the
vice of insecurity, in my eyes.

my question... What constitues "whorish" activity
on both males and females to you? and have you
ever been in or know someone in a situation who
lost a loved one because something was revealed
to their disliking?

Loyalty

2008-07-14T16:26:00.001-07:00

So I was talkin to -1- the other day, and I was told
that the little caesars pizzas out in Michigan are
only 5.00... Ours out here are 5.99, with tax, that
comes out to 6 something.. I feel like I'm getting
jipped out of a dollar. Call the alderman! JK.
I think one of the things that makes you feel like
people aren't really down for you is if you throw a
party, and out of all the people that you invite,
only 2 show up.. I mean inviting a good group of 20,
and only a couple 2 come to show support. It kinda
makes you feel like you have unreliable friends,
or maybe that small ounce of doubt in ya head says
"maybe I'm not that popular".. lol. Don't lie, I'm
sure its happened to you before. Shoot it happened
to me on my 16th birthday.

We had a party and everything, but because
someone else was having a party and there was
liquor there, that trumped my party smooth out lol
. But looking back at it, I remember telling myself
I wasn't gonna F wit the folks who didn't come to
my function again. I don't think I did either. And of
course the folks who didn't come hit you the next
few days later on some "see what had happened
was" type stuff, but by that time your minds set
and you don't care to hear it. Its funny how people
do other people who are there so called friends.
Loyalty is a dish that is served much less
frequently these days..

Ever happened to you?

See me at 3

2008-07-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

See the door to the left? Yea. Thats mine. I have a door to the office that I currently live in. When you get an upgrade like that, you gotta flaunt it. SO I am. Though Im still afraid to close the door, LOL. Seeing as I just started this new gig a week ago. But, nonetheless, I still have a door. And that means I have a door to close when I want privacy.. HA!

Annoying moment of the month of June goes to: inconsistency and tardiness.. along with a dash of what the feezey?

I BBQ'ed again. This time for Q and T's bday. It came out well, of course it did. Ima grillmaster. But this was a highly unorganized bbq to say the least. I mean I wasnt the head of direction, I had the grill to do the Que and that is what I was responsible for. Everything else was up to the others. Dont be tardy to ya own bbq though brotha! LOL.. Folks started showing up and we had no food ready cause we had no lighter yet,plus we hadnt gotten all we needed. But all in all it turned out fine in the end. Your welcome yall for your good eats.. and my smoke inhalation.

Im sure every family has a favorite child.. well im not it. thats all I really have to say about that. BLAH.

Are you the favorite child?

Well..

2008-06-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

So yea, I aint really had much to say lately. Bloggin
has become secondary on some days lol. But today
just seems like a great day to blog. Even though
the sun is blinded out by the smoke from the
northern cali fires, its still an ok day. Basically it
looks like LA everyday right now..

I recently bought the new coldplay album, "viva la
vida" and I would suggest to those who don't
already know about coldplay (shout to -1-) to go
cop the cd. Its not the normal music I have in
rotation on the reg, but it still has a calming
influence to say the least. So go support! I also
bought the Little Brother album "and justus for
all".. I mean its basically vintage little brother,
Phonte being the stronger of the two. I feel like
he is basically shittin on most LYRICISTS out
there.. aint a mention in the first of "l l l l lick it
like a lolllipop".. which is a waste of words for 3
minutes on a song, but that's for another day.. But
the album is great, and I wish LB had more love.
Anybody notice the angle Chris Brown is taking
nowadays? I can't say I'm mad at it really.. it
shows his versatility and willingness to change it
up.. I see you Brown.

sidenote: diddy is so stupid for his post BET awards
show lol.. this fool said "I made up this drink in my
own kitchen last night...3/4 lemonade, 1/4 ciroc..I
call it the diddy..." LOL where I'm from, thas called
a mikes hard lemonade hahaha... diddy, stop it.

And Chris Brown/Ciaras performance went to work! I feel like giggin
again, unbelievable I haven't danced for real, for real in a good
while..

Alicia Keys on the BET awards.. I HAVE NO
WORDS...*SIGH*

did I mention I got a new new job?

I found some old school pics of my cousin(prettyblackgold) and I from a
lonnng time ago lol.. I'm thinkin bout posting some family love up one
time..

Question of the day: do u have a favorite cousin?

Father.

2008-06-15T14:28:00.000-07:00

Man. The man. THE MAN.. THEE MAN.

My father is the definition of that. When people mention a role model, or one who exudes what a man's man is, you look no further than POP. Simple as that. I have always had the luxury of having a father who has continued to be there for me, through any situation. For his family, for his friends. Strangers are drawn to my father because he is the type of man that lets you know who he is, even without stating much at all. From the cool cat smurk, to the too cool for school walk, its all instilled in pop.
I really dont have a lot to say today, because I would type until my thumbs hurt about my father. All I can really say is he is the truest form of man that I know, he has given me many life aspects and lessons that I take with me everywhere. I look at how he treats my lovely mother, and know for sure that I will have that as well when I start my life with my other half. He is the ultimate sacrificial man, simply put. Ive shared tears with my dad, Ive argued.. cheered on the cowboys, watched numerous races, seen him at his most stressed, and even at his most euphoric.. and all in all, that sparkle in his eye has never changed.. many ask me where I got my confidence from.. why i poke my pinky out when I sip a drink, the swag in the walk.. that cool talk.. and all I can attribute it to is him. The man is Billy Dee, Denzel and all those cats put in one, with a whole bunch of real man in him..

So heres to u pop,Happy Fathers day. I love you, I cherish you. And I know that not all people can have one, let alone one that is like you. Preciate you pop. Now lets get on these lobster tails!

Tagged.. Again LOL

2008-06-11T11:49:00.000-07:00

So Ive been tagged by STEW.. so here goes.

MEME Rules:1. Put Your itunes/ music player on Shuffle2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT

After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?”, YOU SAY? Mercy, Mercy me -Marvin Gaye

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Whassup-Teedra Moses (WOOOOOOW.... )

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? I aint gotta tell you- Neyo.. lol

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Affinity- Dwele

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Where you belong- Bobby Valentino (umm..)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Get on top- One Chance ft. Plies.. HAHAHA

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Superstar-Usher..

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? You girl- Trey Songz

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Beautiful- Tweet..HMM.. makes sense.

WHAT IS 2+2? Please dont stop- Vawn ft. Trey Songz

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Complicated-Nivea. so true

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? For a Lifetime- Teedra Moses

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? My life- Mary J. Blige.. thats creepy

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Presidential- Youngbloodz!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Can I talk to you- Talib Kweli

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Only Human- Bobby Valentino

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Im so horny- Oobie.. hahaha

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Possible- Dwele

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? We could be- Keyshia Cole

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? The Boss- Rick Ross! that aint no secret..

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Calling all girls- ATL... lol

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? Been a long time- New Birth

25 strong

2008-06-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

Ah the birthday..I had a great weekend to say the least, full of family, friends, some drinks, some more drinks, and a lotta relaxation. On the 5th, we had my birthday party.. and it was fun to say the least. I didnt get ripped cause of course I had to be at work the next day.. Saturday, my actual birthday, we had the bbq.. and that was a lotta fun, especially cause I didnt have to BBQ for once..thanks pop.. and saturday night we went out again.. sunday, did nothing, and monday went to the WWE Raw show in Oakland.. I feel blessed to have had such a good weekend, and I cant complain at all.. heres some snaps!

Yea, finally

2008-06-04T16:09:00.000-07:00

Song of the day- "I came back for you" by Lil Kim

ladies and gentleman, the first official blog from the new place of employment.. yea yea I know, but I just had to do it..

So I work for Blue Diamond Growers, the main almond suppliers all ova the world basically, and I am a lead exporter. Business cards coming shortly LOL. Basically I work with people all day shipping goods all over the world, we have big conglomerates coming in on occasion for business meetings, speaking minimal english but talking in the universal language of money. I enjoy it already so far, my cube is the size of 2.. my boss, T is real cool to say the least. She really only comes out maybe 3 times a day and checks up on everyone. She has this cool tone about her which makes it easy for me to talk to her. Shoot, I usually have a hard time talking to some supes cause they act like if you ask them for time off, itll be your last day ever. LOL. But shes coo. I still of course have the ladies around the office, but these ones are cut from a different grain. They cuss like me and the boys on the football field, or watching the Cowboys lose a game with pop (shout to PrettyBlack & Eb). So needless to say, since my boss has told me she expects me to stay here for a while, I have no objections.. GOD is good..

Tomorrow night is the birthday party (see the flyer below). Its been a hectic process seeing as we got shutdown the week before over some bullshit, but shoot, now we got it back and not a minute too soon. I plan on going, and having a few drinks, maybe poppin a bottle, taking many a picture, and just enjoying myself. Q says he gon get me lit to all damnation, but I gotta be to work at 8am the next day.. The money doesnt wait lol. I still have yet to get the haircut, and I still have to get a fit together. PT and I are goin to the mall today though, so that will be taken care of. Gotta be smooth on the night of!!

This weekend, Ill be having my BBQ for the actual birthday, just a real intimate setting with the friends and loved ones. Im just happy to have made it another year,a quarter century.. lawd!

Feels good to blog again.

WELL.. HERE IT IS..

2008-06-02T20:28:00.000-07:00

Guess what. . .

2008-05-28T16:27:00.001-07:00

I got that good ole J.OB.
I bounce back like 32.. jump back like 33

:)

2008-05-25T10:43:00.001-07:00

So I got a rank 2 on the test that I took on Monday
like I pretty much figured I did. I'm satisfied with
what I got, seeing as there were things that I did
not fully comprehend. So a rank 2 is good for me. I
can get picked up with that, so I'm happy.
This weather is really something else, I swear. It
was 101 last weekend, by Wednesday it was
cloudy, and yesterday it rained lol. This should be
an interesting summer, off top.
The indy 500 is on today, for all the race fans..
pop and I are just chillin and watchin the loooong
race ahead...

Have a great sunday ..

Whip ass, let security carry em out...

2008-05-19T01:28:00.001-07:00

So I have a test for a county position in the
morning, and I'm sitting here in my bed on the kick
posting this. I find that me not really doing much
prep for a test leaves my brain blank and makes it
easier for me to process things when I take the
test, instead of writing the stale answer you may
study from.. so hopefully I do well on the test.
The hardest part is just waking up and getting
there, once I'm in, the zone gets turned on, and I
float. Tonight would be a great time for a dark
shower...

I feel like something will come into fruition for me
soon. Shoot, relfecting on the last 6 months and
how many negative things have happened to me,
I can't really get any lower on the totem pole.. lol.
optimism is key though, to stopping this redundant
tune from being played on the piano of life.. So I
plan on puttin my foot up this tests ass one time!

Besides, not being in the office has killed ma blog
posts. haha.

Damn my birthdays in 3 weeks.. and I have no clue
what the theme of my birthday party is gonna be.
HELP!!!!

YA MUDAH!!!

2008-05-12T23:11:00.001-07:00

So mothers day was a nice day, we got together and had a bbq for all our ladies of our lives.. I enjoyed myself to the fullest, and made sure that mom and moms alike were taken care of. SO, here it is.. LOL.

1. Thats pop, gramps, and my grandmother
2. Grandmother lookin fly.
3. Pop and I. Thats where the swag comes from.
4. My beautiful mother.. She gave me my smile.
5. Q actin a fool .. LOL

So it was a nice day.. I finally got me a digital. So I'm in the game!

Take off your cool

2008-05-08T10:50:00.001-07:00

Unleash it
let it out..
the layer which negatively
pulls at your doubt
doubt that this indeed
will never proceed,
that we as one,
will never achieve

take off your cool,
let your warmth be exposed..
as i examine your hearts beat,
which you have composed..

Just allow me to search,
through layer number two
the layer which never
allows you to do
never lets your eyes wander,
further than the heart will allow
but let me explore it,
to crumble the walls down

take off your cool,
let your brain be exposed
as I examine your mind game
which you have composed

If possible please
I'd like to see
the potential that lies
in layer number three
the layer of strength
and everlasting pride
now let me approach
push doubt and blindness aside
for this layer now
is stubborn and sweet
at the same time complex
and somewhat unique

So take off your cool,
let your strength be exposed
as I examine your power,
that which you have composed

May I please have a tour
of layer number four
the section of you
with the sexy allure
the body,
the sway,
the forever foreplay,
the deep eye contact
the fierce approach
the "Im A lady...and I know it"
and damn sure not a hoe..

Take off your cool,
let your swagger approach
as I examine your complexity
which you have exposed..

And finally,
let me feel your sincerity
layer 5's emotional pull
that exposes dexterity
gives me hope for the future
gives me smiles of the past
makes me want to succeed
down loves unknown path...
tugs at my brain patterns
forces me to indulge
in a scene so serene..
and a life full of love..

So take off your cool,
let sincerity approach
as I examine your tenderness
which you have composed...

..Take off, your cool..

Copyright, Mistaswag2008

I.N.C.O.N.S.I.S.T.E.N.C.Y

2008-05-05T01:45:00.000-07:00

Song of the night- "Step yo game up" by Snoop

Let me tell you a story of inconsistency. And let
me fill you in on my thoughts of those people that
surround me with that negative vibe. First, my
resoultion for the new year was to dissolve my
ties with inconsistent people in my life, and I can
say that I've been doing well on it. But it still
shows its stanky nature from time to time.

If someone were to ask u to help them move, and
gave you a specific time that they wanted to
start, the logical thing would be to think that they
too are on that same schedule right? The logical
assumption would be if you say 7am on Saturday,
that's when I should be geared to work. Well I was
placed in a situation where I was up and ready, and
the helpee( I know) was nowhere to be found. I
know that if I want someone to help me I'd be
blowing their phone up with directions of what I
want them to do, however, on the day of the
assignment, I received NO phone call.
Here comes the rub: I can almost guarantee that
when I speak to Mr. inconsistent, "man I tried to
call you.." or, " I had told u directions beforehand.."
WHYY.. are you so inconsistent?.. don't waste my
time with selfish nature, assuming that everyone
is free to cater to you when you need. I don't live
in a dictatorship. So Swag the jester is not at your
leisure..ah man. Makes my head hurt. If you ask for
my help, and want my help, then follow thru.

2. Let me tell you about a lazy waiter at dennys.
Who, as he approached us to help, pulled out a chair
and sat down with us, talkin bout "phew... aight yall
whassup.." Let me tell you how it took the man 10
minutes to get a water order( the tip was killed by
then).. this fool was really on his cell phone at
work, waiter work...wtf? let me also tell you how
as he brought out our janky orders, which took 15
minutes to get done, he spilled syrup all over my
nike dunks, which I cherish so much...

Waiter: *syrup spills, all ova ma shoe..he looks
down at the mess* "aww shit... ma bad man..uhh,
what you want a rag or somethin dude?"...

Me: *stares at waiter*...

The waiter said shit at work..lol. wow. I have never
received more shotty service then Saturday night.
Not only was the food stale, the service was
all bad, dumbass spilled syrup on my shoes, didn't
even bother to offer anything but a damp paper
towel, and then has the nerve to get mad when we
all walked out of the dennys not paying for the
meal. I won't lie, I was annoyed at the days
precedings, and the fact that I was made to wait
on peoples slowpoke asses all day, and inconsistent
asses all day.. so this was the straw that broke
the back. I didn't even bother running to the car. I
just walked. And his lazy ass strolled out to the
parking lot, almost like he knew he messed up,
and watched me drive off..I don't feel remotely bad
for not paying for a meal with that stanky service.
I should go back just to do it again..

I'm sleepy now. bottom line. stop being inconsistent
and realize its much easier to follow thru. You
might make more shots then you miss.

Its our anniversary...hey yeaah.. lol

2008-04-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 31ST ANNIVERSARY TO MY PARENTS, I
am so happy that thy have endured times tales,
and not allowed anything to come between them.
Its a blessing to see a full on family built from
them, and their longevity stands strong. Mom, Dad
you are truly a blessing to all you have come
across.. I LOVE YOU.

your only son,
Swag

100 posts strong.

2008-04-29T15:00:00.002-07:00

Song of the day- "Been a long time" by New Birth...

So. This is officially my 100th post! Id like to thank the lord, my parents, the people, the readers, and my brain... OFF TOP. LOL.

This is something that I do to release those millions of thoughts going on in my head at any time.. I let yall into my life outside of my life, the life that many dont see, hear about or experience.. and for all the insights and laughs yall give me, I appreciate you..

So. This past weekend was one that was enjoyable to say the least. Had a great time meeting new people, and spending just great growing time.. I went to a wedding, and to say the least, it was an interesting wedding... T's cousin was getting married, and his wife to be is of filipino/indian descent.. Well, T's cousin is of course black, so its an interracial thing. We got there around the time the bride and groom kissed, I wasnt really trippin, it was windy outside and it was in the grass. The bar was providing free drinks for the first hour, so you know I was happy LOL.

As everybody comes on in and everything is commencing, Im meeting more family members and such.. a nice little atmosphere. Well it comes time for the wedding party to speak, and then the parents.. well, the brides father, the indian part of her, was up next..

It went something like this.. LOL.

Father: "Id like to thank everyone for coming, Im happy my daughter looks beautiful on her happy day. I cannot say that I am the most happy father right now, nor can I say I really have approved of the marriage, seeing as we had someone planned for my daughter already. But she looks beautiful nonetheless.."
*sidenote* A brotha at our table was cosigning so tough while pops was talkin.. "I respect him at least he keeps it real, bla bla bla.." We were all lookin at this brotha like "shutup!!!!"

We, sitting on the side of the black family, were all open-mouthed.. LOL. the stern approach he put into the statement was what struck me the most, I mean he held not a punch and let the whole congregation know he was not all for the marriage.. I understand the indian culture to a certain extent and know that whole arranged marriage situation, as well as those families disowning their children should they marry outside of their race/culture.. Serious stuff..he also mentioned his daughter was the last descendant of an indian prince.. I got weak when Q said " well I guess that means that lineage is killed.. no more aladdin!".. sorry. LOL

So, next, the mom (whos filipino) gets up.. We all shakin our heads like how can this get worse, the tension on the black side is boiling at this point. So here comes filipino mom..

*sidenote 2*.. a filipino woman married to an indian man.. yet he has reservations about his daughter with a black man... *scratching my head*

Mom: "Im so happy to have D in our family, we expect great things and are happy to have him, this just makes it that much better and we have more COLOREDS in our family..*smile*"

.. DID SHE JUST SAY COLOREDS????

Awww man.. aww man.. lol. I respect my people for their patience cause noone set it off in that mutha, thank goodness.. needless to say, the reception was a hit in my book.. There was a waiter that had on an extra medium shirt when he shouldnt have, looked like he had a b cup at least.. then there was a brotha that had a jheri curl with maximum hangtime like Darryl from "Coming to America".. I was gettin weak offa him drippin juice into peoples champagne all day HA.

All in all, the weekend was full of relaxation, good food.. (red lobster, a japanese hibachi place called ooka, so many otha spots.. ) and just overall great time spent. I needed it too, especially cause Im back on the grind and pushing hard to get a new gig.

Questions: How do you feel about interracial dating? how would you feel if your child brought home someone of another race? How were you raised to believe on interracial dating?

Pssst..

2008-04-29T01:10:00.001-07:00

So, I'm back. :) In an okay mood. Had a selectively
good weekend, and now I'm back to my grind.
Nothing feels better then getting away from your
stresses...until you come right back to em. BLAH.

So, how ya doin?

Tag!

2008-04-22T10:18:00.000-07:00

So Ive been tagged by The Flyyest and The F$%K it list dammit! LOL.. well here it is..

Here are the rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you…

2. Mention the rules in your blog…

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours

4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

Heres me. Ina nutshell.

1. When we were younger, my sisters and I used to have a "national cuss day" where we would walk around the house saying any cuss word known to man. Of course it was usually in the summertime, cause our parents would be at work. So we would be cleaning the house, watching tv and stuff and then outta nowhere, "shit!" hahahaha..It was a great time for us, cause we felt free.. and would laugh and laugh and laugh..good times with my sisters when I was younger.

2. I'm a mentor. I like to take time outta my life and help or lead by example to some youngsters in my life. I enjoy doing it, since such a great example was set for me by my father.. its easy to talk to young people, and with kids they see the good in you, and the genuine step in your approach. So I have an easy time with them. I may not be the millionaire with all the quirks, but I still like to see the best outta people.

3. I kinda have ESP. I have been known to say a lotta things that people are thinking and then they say " I was just gon say that!!!".. Its the worst with my best friend Q, we been around each other for so long that I just know what the brotha is thinking. He hit me up on the way home from work yesterday and was like "whatup mayne, what you up to?".. i said "driving down bradshaw.." and at the same time we said "yea, drivin down JBL.." hahaha.. and laughed and laughed.. its crazy.. I really think I can steal peoples brain waves..So watch out!

4. I sometimes take showers in the dark. Helps my thought process and helps me clear my head in times of confusion. I probably have been taking quite a few in the dark lately with all this confusion in some aspects of my life.. Just letting the water run down and clearing my head. In this world of noise and cell phones, me and the shower quiet is a surefire relief.

5. I give great massages. I was actually taught by my old friends mom the techniques, she gave me a book and stuff and taught me some strategies. Its refreshing to get a good massage, so I wanted to know how to give that feeling. Now I know.

6. I have a shy side. Doesn't come out a lot, but it is there. I like to lie to myself and say I'm reserved, but in reality, its the shyness that I have always had and still kinda do to this day. Like I said its rare, but if you see me slip to the back of the room, its the shy in me lol..

So theres some things about me...hmm.. I think most everyones been tagged lol.

Ask me...

2008-04-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

SOOOOOO..Im following suit today LOL

"ASK ME ANYTHING..... "

heres ya chance . Ill answer.

Last I checked, im grown...

2008-04-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

Song of the day- .. AINT NO SONG OF THE DAY. My speakers at work dont work. so all I been hearing all day is ruffling papers. Everybody get on that "stomp" hype and make beats at ya desk.. boom boom clack!

So yesterday, as Im coming back from Carl's Jr/Green Burrito with my nachos, and Mrs. Crazy weave (bosslady) calls me in her ofice with this dumb smirk on her face. Lookin like she just found her favorite easter egg or something, she proceeds to tell me she has some good news. Apparently, she has "manipulated" the powers that be to keep us around another week, since next week is "administrative appreciation day" on Wednesday. I mean shes giddy, happy as a 6 yr old on christmas morning. Im just sitting there looking at her like, OK... so I consider it and tell her ill stay, I go back to my desk and ponder over some things and get to thinking. Yea Im happy I get to get another weeks check, GOD's way of helping me out a little longer until my next job comes.. preciate that lord.. but Ill be damned if I sit here and get treated like kunta kinte.. see, I know whats going on. They got all this backlogged work, and they dont have noone to do it until the permanents actually get here, give or take a couple weeks. But, im not the one to sit and wait for you to tell me that next week, wait not this week the week after.. wait maybe in 2 weeks, will be my last day. Im already in the negative mindset around here that Im just trying to make some connections and do it movin from the spot that dropped me like a 2.00 hooker..yet you want me to be ecstatic when you tell me YEYYY! WE GOT YOU ANOTHA WEEK OFFA DEATH ROW!

...miss me..with that.

So Im happy to gain another check, and be able to live comfortably a little longer, granted I fully expect to be blessed with a new gig sooner than later. But for the record, my birthday aint June 7th 2003.. its June 7th, 1983.. I told my boss I fully feel like yall givin me the toddler treatment.. toyin with me..and last I checked.. Im grown

WOMP..

Rock Solid... Sometimes

2008-04-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

I was reminded today of a situation I had to endure last year around this time this morning while reading -1-'s blog.. And how that situation really affected my mental.

It was when a friend of mine was killed, hit by a bullet in the back of the neck/head area.. I wont forget how long I was at the hospital that evening, and how long everything seemed to take. I wont forget that we were really good friends, and that I was kickin it with my girl Drea, Silvia, my boy Rell and Rip when Drea got the call that someone had been shot at the club down the way. It was an 18 and over spot, so naturally I declined on going.. I decided instead to have a nice night and eat some food from friends who loved to cook for fellow loved ones... but as we got to the club it was something different, seeing as we thought it was her sister and not her that had been shot.. and that it wasn't as major as it may have seemed.. But when I found out it was "Keeb", things shifted. My little homies came up to me knowing that we were close and were hysterical about the situation, screaming that they saw her get shot and that she was bleeding all over the place..all I could do was kinda search around and try to find a resolution to the issue at hand.

I saw her cousin running around without shoes on and screaming at the top of her lungs.. she saw me, and of course she probably could tell I didn't entirely know what was going on. Assuming I was probably with keeb's boyfriend ( we kicked it a lot at the time) she hysterically asked me "Wheres T!!!!!".. nobody knew where he was, I'm still wondering what happened, and allthewhile shes shaking and screaming about T needs to know..T needs to know.. So once I finally found out the whole situation, and realized my boy did not know his girlfriend was in rapid pace to the ER, I chose to make the call to him. Not sure why, looking back, would I not have called and had him find out another way? I don't know, but it burdened me..and I was THE most nervous on the phone Ive been in my life..

"T, get inya car man.. this aint good.. iono whas goin on, but I guess keeb got shot and she on the way to tha hospital... I need you to get her right now T.. Please man.. cmon.."

"wait..wait..wait.. wut? swag don't play with me man, what you talkn about.. what you tryna tell me man?!?!?!

He got hysterical and hung up the phone.. got there about 10 minutes later looking around. I told him to follow me to the hospital and we would go from there, but instead he just sped off without me.. So I jump into my whip and speed to the hospital as well..called him about 5 times, he finally picks up and walks out. Apparently, shes in the ER and they are tryna revive her cause the shot was direct..this is where the situation worsened..it was difficult enough for me to know that my friend was laying there fighting for her life, but at the same rate to see my boy going through the motions, killed me on the inside.. We stepped outside, cause he couldn't be in the hospital, and he literally broke all the way down.. a man with tears down his face trying to force out the words "shes trying, swag.. shes fightin!!!" please.. just let her get through man.. please swag.. I cant do this without her.." and so on and so forth..

..I can seriously say that I wont ever forget that moment.. EVER.

I couldn't do anything at all. helpless. In a life where sometimes my words can help a situation with a little uplifting jargon, I couldn't say a word.. I couldn't move.. I couldn't cry.. I wont forget that moment.. helpless as a newborn baby..and my boy was losing his rock..his love..

For about 15 minutes all I could really say to him was "she gon make it T, you know she strong...shes a fighter..".. if at any time I felt like there was no one in the world but me and someone else, that was really it. 15 mins felt like 15 years that night. Eventually his mom got there, her family had to drive all the way from the bay area, and people started to show up.. emotions flowed, and there was about 40 people in the hospital waiting room.. I noticed 2 things happen, and I'm not sure everyone else noticed it.. myself and Drea did though. They said code blue in the wing she was in, and then the chaplain snuck out.. I saw it and kinda dropped my head, and Drea tried to hold it in, but she exploded.. it caused a chain reaction cause now everyone was noticing that the situation just got worse.. I still couldn't cry, I don't think that my face changed expression for fear that if someone saw the change of emotion, it would read so tough from my face that I already knew Keeb had passed, they would know and it would be a wrap.. Once it was found out she wouldn't make it, well needless to say.. it was indeed a wrap. I still stood still, and emotionless.. T, well.. T just.. I don't know. I cant explain it through my fingers.

I just kinda stood there, trying to take everything in. And then I had to take people home, still tryna remain the rock. As I dropped off the last person, I realized that I had just gone through the death of a good friend.. and I also had to fly out the next morning at 8am to Texas for my grandmothers funeral.. If ever in life I had zero energy, and no feeling, complete numbness and was seriously moving on autopilot only knowing where I was at the smallest moment in time, it was at that point. I went home, I sat down.. couldn't believe anything, and I just released.. I ain't cried that hard since.. well..ever. I think this is the first time Ive written about it..still hurts to think on it. But I'm better with it.

I have had many a situation where Ive had to remain composed and be the rock for people. I don't knock it at all, I take it as HIS way of maybe showing me I have a strong soul and can take tough times.. I was mad this whole weekend, going into this week about my job situation, but no matter how hard I tried to be mad.. I don't stay that way. I regain the composure, and just keep moving. I may have a word of wisdom for someone going thru it, and I take it head on.. even in times of death. Some say holding it in and releasing it finally is bad, but maybe sometimes if people see the composure from me, they may see that it indeed will be ok.. I don't know. But im not complaining.

When it rains...

2008-04-11T15:06:00.001-07:00

Song of the day- "Aint that a bitch" by Lil Wayne...

Here. we. go. again..

I noticed a trend happening in my life. Something drastic always seems to happen towards the beginning of every year inthe first 6 months leading up to my birthday (June 7th) that throw me for a loop, and have me back at square 1.

So its already a known fact that I moved outta my home this week, and officially spent the first night back at my parents on Wednesday. Im leaving the house around 10ish, goin to my folks house to kikit wit the extended fam for a little bit, release some stress, and of course as Im leaving I hear "dont come back too late!.. and dont chu be drinkin and drivin.. bla bla bla bla bla"..with a shake of my head I walked out the door in disgust.. Its already started... I slept in thiis full size bed for the first time in like 4 years, so used to stretching out in my good ole cali king.. this transistion is not going to be an easy one. I have plans to go to the lake this weekend and hang out with all of the loved ones, I can hear it tomorrow already..

mom: " I need you at the house all day today to do any and every small thing I ask, including just look at me so I know you aint doing anything but that..." (exaggerated...but you get the point)

me: " momma, I have plans..."

mom: "NO.. YOU DONT..." (insert argument..)

They say silence is golden at times, but me being me, and being ina situation where something is not right and affecting me, I will speak up.. so I know it will be very hard to grit my teeth and shut up for this stint in cell block 9476..*i feel a migraine coming*

My boss called me into the office on Wednesday to talk about a quick assignment. So as we talked about it and finished up the subject, she kindly inserts.." oh by the way, seeing as we just hired on the 2 new perms, and your a temp to hire, your last day of your assignment will be the 18th of this month..."

...... wait... wut?

my job is a 6 month temp to hire position, of which Ive been doing well at and had the utmost that I would get swooped up with open arms come August. I was told when I started, it would be a minimum of 6.. (1,2,3,4,5,6).. months. But out of the blue, with the sneakiest and most nonchalant way to say things, she told me Im outta here.. NEXT WEEK. a weeks notice. And the bitch gon have the nerve to sit here and talk to me like I never worked there.. "the county is a great place to work, I think you should take a few tests, you might like it here... ".

...wait....wut? *migraines here..*

SO, as of the 18th of April, barring some help from the woman who hired me, I will once again, be without steady income.. *shakes head* I spoke with Laura, the woman who hired me, and she assured me of course she didnt know about this situation, and they had nothing but great things to say about me here.. its just that the perms they hired are filling the role.. keep in mind, they hired OA's.. ima Sr. OA... 2 different positions..so Im on the short end of the stick. A woman just resigned here yesterday, I just found out..So you would think in the time of need, they wouldnt let anyone go... this bass ackward place is about to feel my wrath. I called in yesterday, on some fuck you type ish.. I didnt care.. and still dont.

7:55am (5 mins b4 start time).. me: "Hi, im not coming in today"
snaggertooth boss: "oh, well is everything alright?"
me: "yup, just not coming. bye.."

Needless to say, she should know whassup. So now, once again, im back at square 1. Frustrated, annoyed, but at the same rate, I cant let this faulter me. But the feeling of the weight of the world is on my back strong.. and I have no pain killers..

3. Today my truck overheated.. turns out one of the pipes or somethin leading to my radiator is busted, causing a healthy leak of the fluids.. felt real shitty to shut down on the way to my parents house for some lunch.. ANOTHER thing to deal with..

They say it happens in 3's.. well dammit, this 3 pointer has all but ended my career in retrospect..

WHO NEEDS A DRINK....

Miss FreshTaDef...

2008-04-08T16:19:00.000-07:00

A zone restricted to those,
that only take it in stride
Learning to glide with the flow
not only go..
it takes many a man
to understand
why the world does not turn the otha way..
but I deal with what I deal with
and ultimately my faith na'er stray...
Living and walking
wit an urge to succeed
not even the downfalls
of my elder men reiterated
stop ma strive to need..

Need lust for life,
lust for her,
lust to live,
lust for birth..
I take it all in
with a breath and a smirk,
and realize maturity is the ultimate work..

Whether Miss Freshtadef cut open the wound
that allowed the skies to fly
remains to be seen
to my naked eye.

Though an individual
can influence the world
somehow it seems
that in my eyes
possibly I've been influenced
by this girl..
Her indefinite happiness
shadowed with the trials that life brings
the sturdiness of the backbone
the sexiness she perceives..
taking full advantage of what's thrown in direction
ensuing the utmost attention
amongst hidden protection..
tho 5 minutes not enough to know
and realize ones full potential,
like a lottery team with its first pick
investment controls any aspects
taken by my mental..

Indeed,
freshness stings the air
with so much perception
the namesake so fitting
when she looks in my direction..
So hence tha name
Miss Freshtadef..
without knowing outcome
of jumping from that incredulous cliff
I still proceed
to take the first step..

She is...

*written and copyrighted by MistaSwag, any use of this will result in my snipers shooting u down.. *

Well...

2008-04-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

Song of the day- "Sunshine" by Lupe Fiasco- "outta the trillions of numbas thas in tha world/ just leave me a few/ that lead to you/ wont be longin/ Ill see you in the monin, coo?

Random: remember JS? The duo that came out with "ice cream" and "love angel"..? Kels thought he was gonna make it big with those ladies (he and mr. biggs), but somehow they flopped.. hmm. I listened to the cd this morning, and it really was not that bad of a cd. Exhibit A

I was sick as a dog last week, hence no posts since tuesday.. I rarely get sick, but when I do, and Im actually not stubborn enough to admit im sick, its pretty bad. Everyone in my office has caught the sickness and here I was walkin round head held high with vitamin c in hand proudly displaying my mucus free nose.. UNTIL wednesday night when I couldnt sleep and it felt like my back was trying to come thru my stomach, and my nose was full of molasses. Not a good look to say the least. When Im sick and cant sleep, or when my back is killing me, I tend to just sit up in a random area of the house and stare into nothingness, trying to find a reason or cure for the sickness. Medicine never works immediately so its suffering for about 30 mins. Well I found myself sitting on the arm of the couch for a good 45 mins (245-330AM) looking nowhere.. and in pain. Next day went to Dr. Momma and got some stuff.. I swear i was poppin pills like an ecstacy addict all day. I work with a sense of urgency when Im sick.. But nonetheless, I Mike Tyson'd that ish.. and by saturday I was cool. But man, those 4 days were hell... I hate gettin sick.

*sidenote* my ears are still popping, and have been since Wednesday.. damn.

I used to have a crop of hair...I jus noticed.

FOO!..... he in the house.

2008-04-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

Song of the day-"shopaversary" by Trey Songz- "no baby I aint forget/you like that ice/ so you can keep it on/ while we do it..."

So I got a prank pulled on me today. Im doin ma usual lunch time activity (sleepin in my truck, I have an hour lunch and that hour nap sometimes feels like eternity). I take a nap everyday for 2 reasons. One, cause I'm still not a morning person, probably never will be. So I'm really mum until about 10, but fade out of energy by 12. So I have to recharge the batteries. And 2, cause I work with nothing but women, who gossip all day, about Coach purses and how they cheat on their boyfriends of many many years (let-it-out, dont be that woman! LOL). I pretty much dont have much to say to them when it all comes down to it so I aint about to sit at lunch and look down their throats.. Anyways, Im comin down from the nap euphoria, in that stage where your eyes are still closed but you really awake, when i hear a knock on my window. I turn around, and a white lady is motioning to me.. "You cant sleep in your vehicles on lunch sir".. My building is connected with the sherrifs dept. so shes like "Ima supervisor at the sherrifs dept and its against the rules to sleep in the parking lot on lunch. You can sleep in the break room though.." im still groggy so im like "gurgle, mumble, blah, huh?." Then she busts out laughing LOL. Turns out she used to work here and wanted to meet me.. dang. I got caught. Ah well.

I pulled a prank last year where I had my email admin take me off of the distro list for the day, I told some of my folks I had gotten fired for spitting in the big bosses face, made it sound all convincing, got real mad and mushfaced about it.. screamin and such talkin bout, "Man efff them suckas! He gon get in ma face and ish, I told him to get out ma face, and since he didnt I spit on his dumb ass!".. So I told em to email me since they thought I was lyin, and since my name was no longer on the distro, it looked like I had been removed from the system LOL..good prank to say the least.

I found a cd last night of Alicia Keys "you dont know my name" burned 15 times on it.. LOL. Obviously I love that song. It got me thinkin on some things, and how that song hit me, then the video came along and solidified my "love" for her. Then I read EB's blog about wondering what her future hubby was doing at that exact moment. Its an interesting concept to think about that, cause ultimately theres someone there for each one of us and is building themself up to be with you whether either of you know it or not. The ultimate plan. I think on that sometimes like all the things im doing, or have been scripted by GOD to do, all lead up to the ultimate plan he has for me. I cant even really think of the fact of being married, having my own child and doing the family man face as of right now. Not saying I dont want it, but my life leading up to now has never been about that, and I dont intend for it to be for a while of course. Yet im almost 25, so time pushes faster and faster. Maybe ill get into that later, but I think its an interesting thought to think about what your soulmate/lover/"ONE" is doing at this exact moment. And if they may be thinkin the same about you, without knowing its you.. that sleepless in seattle type junk. (sets that subject on the backburner for future reference)

Movin cool...

2008-03-31T10:19:00.000-07:00

HORRIBLE Song of the day- "love in this club" by Usher. I really dont get songs like this, I mean its not really that catchy. Plus, the song talks about somebody "makin love" in the club.. LOL. I mean whens the last time you saw candles lit, background music playing softly, eye contact and real good Teddy P love making.. IN THE CLUB. And Im sure that I am not the only person who feels that Ush will never do any better than "confessions" (also see "miseducation of lauryn hill...)

I was reading Dejanae's blog, and she mentioned blogging on the weekends, something I rarely do. Maybe I should, seeing as most of the blogs i write are spur of the moment thoughts. Just a thought.

So, I recently found out I have to move back home with my mother and father. My sister and I have our own house, nice lil 4 bed 2 bath get up that suits both of us well. Anyways, we have to move out of the house, and back into our parents house. Little situation to help family, which I cant really say I have a problem with at all. Family is family, and love is love. At the end of the day, we all have each others backs unconditionally. I am mad I wont be living in my own home anymore, well for the time being. One thing I am having trouble with is the fact of actually living at my parents house again. I mean the last time I was there was at age 21, so ive been gone almost 4 years, and have gotten thoroughly used to having my own space and privacy. On any given day you can hear a pin drop in my house its so quiet, my sister and I dont bother each other, she has her schedule, I have mine. Friends come thru, we kickit, and then they are gone. I maintain the cleanliness of the house, and everything is everything..
But now I have to go back to the rule of the parental units. Which is not going to be a good transistion. I'm almost 25, sis will be 27 in April. These arent the same 2 kids that used to live in mom n dads house. My mother, oh how I love my mother.. but its a known fact that we but heads at times. My mother lives by the "my way or no way" creed, and me.. well I like to think for myself. They dont bother big sis really, shes got her career setup, and is doin her. She has always run by the beat of her own drum, and since shes the favorite (everyone has a favorite sibling.. ) she pretty much can do her. Me, well im the baby boy. The only son. Pops instills in me to continue the legacy, which I dont have a problem with. And momma, well she still looks at me as the little boy runnin around bumpin his head off the walls. So she hits me with the ridicule ona daily.
Ive gotten used to the nick nack and the nagging.. it happens, and sometimes I get frustrated and lash out only to apologize, and other times I just smile and say, "ok, momma..." So needless to say, this move back in will be an interesting one. Im thinking that I may just invest in getting another place outside of home with Q. We talked about it, and for sanity's sake.. I may have to approach that option full speed ahead. I wont last a month in my parents house without pullin what hair I have on my head out. And thats real LOL.

*Sidenote*.. Am I the only one who's momma will always tell you what to do,even when you already are in route to do it???.. I will tell my momma on Friday, "Im gonna come ova tomorrow round noon.." . She will call me on Saturday at 1135 talkin about " I need you to come ova to the house.. so come ova. And hurry up.. "... WTF?? Didnt I already say I was comin ova? Or Ill be cleaning her kitchen, and she will come to the balcony talkinbout, "make sure you clean that kitchen before you leave!!!!"... Momma and her controls.. *sigh*

Junkeeeeeee!

2008-03-28T01:27:00.000-07:00

So how random is this.. I'm headin home from the
club, yea I'm lightweight tipsy.. no edits on this
post.. why am I in the drive thru at del taco, and of
all people I see my aunts (by marriage) cousin come
up begging for change!!! now I know this nigro. His
name is Larry, and he's been to my parents house
before. He just asked me for change, and didn't
recognixe me at all. LOL am I wrong for not bein
like "Larry, whatup!!".... man f him. HE'S A JUNKIE.
junkie ass dood. ona bike. askin for change. bunk you!
thas it.. tnite was bootleg, and I'm not impressed.
But I did get free drinks all night. Who can obbject
that.

Brotherhood

2008-03-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

Song of the day- "Crazy" by Snoop Dogg ft. Nate Dogg- "I really love ma dogs, grew up togetha and all, but he's always up to no good!"

So today I felt like digging into my surroundings and throwing an ode out to my closest folks. The ones who I am usually around who know me the best pretty much: My dudes, my boys, dem cats.. Whatever you wanna call em.

First off, ma best friend Q (Marques).. Ive known my dude since 3rd grade, and we really been best friends since then. Thats 15-16 some odd years of going thru it all with Q.We have a million inside jokes, its unreal. Hes the one that will say the same thing as me at the same time.. From the days in elementary school when I used to have to walk him to the office to call his mom and get some allergy medicine cause his allergies were so bad that he couldn't see, to the random times I would go over his house ( he lived like 3 minutes away from me..) and have to wait for him to finish his pushups before we could go outside. He used to get in trouble with pops, and instead of a whippin, mr. military dad would make Q do pushups.. I used to try and help out by doing some with him so he wouldnt feel bad LOL. To the days of him almost breaking his neck while riding home from summer school cause he was going so hard to Busta Rhymes Break ya neck LOL. He couldnt move his neck for almost a week. Or how about all the times we used to meet at the spot, "jackinthebox" to figure out what we were gonna do, only to just get a chicken sandwich and fries and end up doing absolutely nothing. Maybe the time we almost came to blows in front of the cash register at a function that we threw (an actual club event, over a miscommunication..the people trying to get in were wondering why the promoters were ready to fight). Ive been through it all with Q, the ups, the downs.. the ins and outs.. both of us having our own spot, our own cars, but NEVER having a stable lady friend at the same time. Its never failed, if im dating someone, he aint.. if he is, im single.. LOL. Q is probably the one person I can call my brother in arms, cause I know in an instant he would drop something and come swoop his boy out of a bind. Let him tell it, he swears if I ever have a problem with someone he will handle it like hes a bodyguard or something. LOL. Id take a bullet for Q, with no delay.

Next on the list is my boy JD. Or J to Da, or 6'4 ( since we both are the same height.. he somehow is taller on a given day but whos countin.) Me and JD havent known each other as long as Q and I have, but I still consider JD a great friend. Hes an honest dude who has a strong emotional side to him, as long as you keep it real with him. Let JD tell it, he gave me my style HAHA.. JD is my bbq partner, we both throw down on the Que. We both have older sisters, so we share a knowledge of certain things about women (we both used to grab the curling iron for our mommas when they were doin our sisters hair when we were younger LOL). He also shares the promotions flair with me. So we got a lot in common and that is why we so coo. I can honestly say Ive never had to worry about JD crossing me in a negative sense, or him stepping on my toes. The brotha is genuine and a good friend. We had our one lil misunderstanding, but of course worked that out in no time, like true folks do. SO big ups to J to DA! Pop bottles 6'4!

Next off, Ill include all my boys from this pic. Starting from left to right... Chris rob, DJ Rip 1(Richard) Terell, JD, BJ,, ME, Q, and Otis down there with his head turned away.

Chris is the youngest of the group, acts like it .. but is still good natured, just gotta stay on him and make sure he stays the right route...
Rip 1! thats ma dj! hes our dj for our weekly spot, can mix his ass off, and is an overall coo cat, level headed to say the least. You can always expect a big "whassup" from rip 1.
Terell (or as i call him TEEEEEEEEE) is a classic cat. A mature dude who is a visionary. You can have a goofy convo with terell (pizzard!) or you can have a good man to man convo about serious issues. Rells also my WWE folks!! You can count on T to have the next PPV event at his house. big ups to Rell..
BJ is, well. BJ. Hes that dude that just is himself. He has a bit of a temper, is always good to buy you a drink just for the hell of it, and at times has great ideas that you think about and say, "wow... I woulda never thought of that".. And you can always count on this fool to have on a new bright ass shirt. LOL.
Odie is quiet at times, can clown you on a whim, and has that Oakland feel to him. LOL, I mean he is from the town so yea. Quick witted, and if you ever lose anything, Odie will find it.. I lost my keys one day at the club, O was like, "they right ova there..." saw them in a big crowd of folks.. LOL.
Im missing out on a picture of Tristin and Brandon T....
Tris is the point guard of the crew, lil babyfaced cat that all the girls swoon over LOL. Hes an even dude, if that makes any sense.. never really rattled, I can say Ive never seen Tristin extremely angry, he just composes and does him. A good quality to have.
Brandon T, AKA Cereus B.T. Kingsley is the folks. Hes a comedian, look out for him by the way he's gonna blow up soon. But B is very down to earth, he provides the joking aspect of life, as his tatoo says, "why stress, Brandon T really doesnt care!".. Yea thats tatted on him. Thats dedication to the hakuna matata way of life on the real. But dont get in twisted, B can also have a great convo on real life situations, our talks on women and theories are always insightful and full of great laughs..

They always say you are who you surround yourself with, and I have had the opportunity to be surrounded with a plethora of interesting souls.. I havent always been the closest with all of em, some of em get on my damn nerves on the regular, some are immature, others are about their business.. but all in all, when it comes down to it, I know that we all can be around each other at some point in time and enjoy laughs. So big ups to the boys.. MAGNUM UP!!

.Salvation.

2008-03-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

Song of the day- "I'm dreaming" by Christopher Williams.. What ever happened to ole boy? He had wind pipes for days LOL. The new jack era had so many clean songs, yea I was only like 9 or 10, but I still memba giggin so hard to this song. If I'm dreaamiiinnnnnnn

So I had a good little easter weekend. I went to church and a bbq on sunday, like any natural believer in God would do. The pastor spoke on salvation, and much to my agreeance, he connected everything he was trying to say back to the message. Some speakers of the word I have come across dont really connect their message to the actual scripture in an efficient way, and then when its time to wrap it up, Im left wondering "what was the message then?" while preacher screams and shouts, and all of a sudden "the doors to tha church are open..." LOL. I find it difficult to find a church that Im really in tune with, some are blatantly materialistic (ATM machines in the pews...) while others, I just dont really feel are going the right direction for me. Sometimes I find that I can just read the bible myself, talk with God, and come up with my own interpretation of the scripture, instead of going to a place where a man is telling me what I should do or how i should believe. Not saying all pastors do that, but I have come across more then one, and get that cult following feeling. But needless to say, this pastor on Sunday had me walk out of church with an "mmhmmm" feeling. Knowing what he was trying to say and get across. So shoutout to Pastor Buckhlater.

I just realized I missed my first break. DANG!

Sidenote: STILL HAVENT GOTTEN MY PICS FROM THE JAMMY JAM/BBQ WEEKEND. Dang procarastination is a sickness!

Its almost April already. jeesh. Time is flying... Mashing!

Question of the day: Do you go to church on the regular? if not, do you feel bad when you finally do go that you havent? do you watch it on tv?.. read yaself? have trouble "trusting" a church?

El Aye

2008-03-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

Song of the day- "Step it up" by Little Brother from the album "Get Back"-"cause once they get grown/these ladies ain't impressed by Applebees no mo'/Gotta dig a little deeper for that PF change/for PF Chang's/And if you can't afford it/You can still do thangs to show you ain't on no dumb shit/Take her to a gallery, museum or some shit"

So, I'm back from LA/Long Beach. My trip was, to say the least, highly enjoyable. All avenues of the trip were just right and I really needed it. I really don't know where to start with the trip.

Friday_ - Venice Beach, shopped a little bit, ate at Johnny Rockets. Ended up going out to a club that night called "day after". To be honest, I wasn't really impressed with the spot. Maybe its the fact that I had to wait in line for so long, or the fact that once I actually got in the spot, it wasn't really that great. "Bones" from "I love New York 2" was on the mic, and he sounds just like he looks LOL. Ended his rants and raves of "where all my ladies and players at.. " with "VOTE FOR OBAMA 08!" LOL. Willie from "college hill in the bahamas" was there too with his weak afro.. he couldnt even get in HAHAHA.. That made me laugh. I was also weak at the ladies that cut in front of us. It was a group of 5 of em, not great looking and a little sloppy on the clothing tip, not to mention ones heels were scuffed up something tough( tacky broad). Security asked them who they were here with, the whole thing. He says hold, comes back and is like "sorry ladies that party is not here with this event, please step out of line.. PLEASE STEP OUT OF LINE..." Of course the embarrassed looks came up, and the "why nots" happened, as well as the snickers from all 1 million people in line lol. ( memba that Lisa LOL). Ended the night with a drunken hot dog from the Latino vendor on the sidewalk, they go so hard....

Big shoutout to my sister for not meeting up with her brother the whole time I was out there, and not allowing me to stay at ya crib after giving me permission to stay there when you were gonna be outta town. All because ya roommate had family coming in. Whats that have to do with YOUR room?.. but yea, thanks..

Saturday- relaxed in the morning, hung out all during the day. Went and had a good lunch, did a little bit of shopping ( got a tie and some slacks.. cleeaaaaaan), and basically just relaxed all day. Saw the beach and the area where the long beach grand prix is (Ima see if pop wants to go this year)

Sunday- the day.. of all days.. started Sunday out by just relaxing, watching some tube. Got up late and grabbed a bite to eat, some pizza from the hut. The girl who worked there was a sucka though. On some real ish. How you gonna tell someone you put ranch in the bag when I know you didnt!.. I digress.. anyways, back to the day. So, as some may know, I have a huge liking to Teedra Moses. Her music in itself is something special, and I get so tired everytime I mention her and someone says "whos Teedra Moses?".. Its like the most genuine artists just don't get the recognized. Well Teedra was in Pasadena for a concert/party, which actually ended up just turning into a party for her sisters birthday. I thought it was gonna be a concert, but instead it was just a party with Teedra only singing "happy birthday".. still didnt care. I saw her walk in the venue ("the vault"), and I swear I was probably the only one who noticed it was her. Like some lil schoolboy, I got all nervous and shit, pushin my cuzzo talkinbout, "look, look!"..

So I finally built up the gall to go say hi to this woman who's music has soothed ma soul for going on 4 years now, and of course, like I knew she would... she was cordial. And upbeat.

me : Hey Miss Moses, just wanted to tell u I love ya work and everything ya put into, much love to ya ma...

Teedra: thank you baby, I appreciate that sooo much! (hug)..

The night pushed on, and of course, we talked more. I danced wit Teedra, the whole time im dancin im thinkin "im really ova here giggin wit Teedra Moses".. I was starstruck like a mufucka. I aint even gon lie. Ova here dancin with a woman I been crushin on for a while. She introduced me and my cuzzo to her sister, of whose birthday it was, and we were all in convo like we was family.
The night ended with a hug and some contacts exchanged.. Im downplayin this situation on this blog, though on my inside parts, im spinnin and still cant quite comprehend... now all I gotta do is kikit with Badu and Keys.. and I will be set..

Sometimes I dream, that he is me..

2008-03-13T08:53:00.000-07:00

Oh how I miss Mike...

And of course, the smooth, buttery, jumper. NO WORDS.

Oops

2008-03-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

Song of the day- "Previous Cats" by Musiq Soulchild- "Not like I call you Sabrina, Pam or Tanisha, Andrea neitha.. girl we go deeper.. than any otha i had before..so tell me why you ignore...?"

I looked up and realized, dang its Wednesday.. and I haven't written anything in some days.. mainly cause I dont have an update of the weekend yet, and oh what a weekend it was. So instead of updating my weekend, I got a couple things on the mind. pics and such from the weekend will be here, when they get here lol.

..I noticed that I see the same people in traffic everyday, the man that picks his nose (then eats it...), the sista with the website (something about a cabin in lake Tahoe, i might check it out one day) , the road rage dude in the baby blue ford Taurus ( I really think hes just mad cause he drives a bucket, and smoke comes out his muffler).. We are all a lil traffic community, so here's to my traffic home-folk who sit and do the same thing everyday, without even realizing it.

Im supposed to be going to LA this weekend. Teedra Moses will be in LA this weekend. * I need a minute ... * Yea, Teedra.. Go on EB, get jealous. HAR HAR HAR. I will definitely be going to that concert lawd willing.

I really need to stop biting my fingernails.. nothing seems to work.

If you've never had "hot n' spicy cheez-its" before, I suggest you follow suit and go buy a box.. cause jeesh, these bad boys go to work!.. which is where I needa go back to. DAH WELP!

trumpets blare

2008-03-07T16:45:00.000-08:00

I had to post this, just cause its my favorite scene in the movie. A couple things, first, try walking around like the folks do in this scene on the street and see how people start to bow at ya feet HAHA// second, when I was younger and used to watch this I would be like "whooaaa" cause it was so debonair and sexy, risque.. Quincy Jones composing just set it all off.. MAN!

I, wouldnt be seen.. in green...

BBQ's and Jammies

2008-03-07T11:40:00.000-08:00

Song of the day, such a Friday song- "Morris brown" by Outkast- " Im so gone ova you.. and yes its true, baby do what you do..ma nose is open so wide, lookin atchu sucha pretty site.." Scar is untapped territory in the music game, only being heard on outkast hits basically. Cant wait for him to come out with an album.

So like I mentioned beforehand in previous posts, the jammy jam is this weekend and its at a big ole mansion house. Its definitley going down and I wish everyone could partake in it with me and my counterparts, the atmosphere is just so much fun and theres never any issues. No dumb folks comin up shootin up the spot, no fights, just everybody with the main goal to have a great time. Drinks are always provided, food if needed, and folks can even stay the night if needed. I mean all the loose ends are tied up! after 3 o clock, the kiddies eitha gotta leave or go to bed cause the adults come out to play. I mean its a 21 and over party anyways (which is easy even though we are throwing it at a house), and we also have security there. I mean what more could you ask for. I found a pic of Me at a jammy jam, I think this was the 5th edition, in 06. Peep the comfortable posture, the dancing and gigging going on around me, my homegirl Aisha in lingerie behind me, the "happy hand" in the right hand of the camera.. beautiful atmosphere. Please believe I will be putting pics up from this one.

This weekend also marks the beginning (weather permitting) of the BBQ season! Im known for having BBQ's at my home, as me and my boy JD are known to throw down on the BBQ pit and having a great little atmosphere. The fam and friends come on thru and we chill, only thing is, like ya see on the pic, I have to BBQ from my porch LOL. Well this year also marks the backyard bbq pleasure, as I finally got some grass in the backyard lol. So there should be much more room for everyone to chill out there, instead of messing up my house!

Folks always eat and run, and leave you with the mess.. Black folks, we good for that. LOL. At any rate, this should be a strong weekend full of family fun and gooooood foood!.. Yall have a blessed, safe, fruitful weekend.

Swagga up

Boo hoo tee..

2008-03-06T15:39:00.000-08:00

Album of the day! "TP2.Com" by who else... R. Kelly! One of Kels' best albums to say the least, the first 5 songs on the album are probably the best first 5 songs ever. I mean dang, we commencing to sexin at the BEGINNING of the album, aint gotta wait until we hit #9 to get in the full groove.. We strippin on #3, we having the best sex ever at #4!!! And we still have a good 13 tracks till I get to feel on that booty one mo gin. The production was gracious, the song placement was strategic and sound (which a lotta artists dont have the capacity to do nowadays, and makes for their album to be like a puzzle piece which is better burning, then putting the songs where you want them: I.E. Bobby Valentino), and overall, Robert Kelly hit you off with that GOOD, GOOD, MO BETTA.

I used to do posts on my old livejournal entries about my favorite records and I would dissect every song into my own interpretations. It usually made me fall in love with the album I wrote about even more since I could feel so much for every song and actually put forth a thought process for each chapter of the record. Im going to dissect the beautiful and talented, highly underrated "Teedra Moses' Complex Simplicity" when I get the chance... I absolutley adore Ms. Moses, havent seen her live since before her first album came out, and still am angry about that. But I'ma catch up to her soon enough. Waiting anxiously for her newest album to drop, I wish her people would get on the job!

So the week slowed down today, probably because tomorrow is payday and the money man just doesnt want that day to come. But he better hurry up cause I gotta go buy some pajama pants for the function.

Question of the day: What makes you, YOU? what seperates you from other people, in your eyes, or in someone elses eyes? dont be too reserved or humble, say what ya feel!

humps n' a bump

2008-03-05T14:01:00.000-08:00

Song of the day- "Aint my type of hype" by Full Force- "your love sooo good!.. aint mah type of hype bayyybeh.." from one of the best movies ever "house party".

So today I broke the cardinal rule of sock style today. I was in a rush to work this morning, as I was running way past late, and I couldnt find any black dress socks in my house at all. My closest friends know that I really dont have a lotta socks in my house, I have no clue why, and sometimes I tend to wear mismatches.. Whatever. But anyways, I was in such a rush that I threw on some white socks LOL. White socks and dress shoes, NOT PIMPIN. Especially some burnt orange gators.. *smh* I think thats the first thing I ever started really focusing on, was that good ole black sock game. But yea, im sittin over here with my feet deep in the desk cause I dont want anyone to see these white socks. AW MAN.

I went to the chinese food spot down the way from the house last night, place called dragon express. Ole boy in there, of whos name I dont know, always hooks it up and their food is outstanding to say the least. For cheap. Like most chinese food places they give you rations for weeks, lol. The only thing that kills me is everytime I go in there he screams at the top of his lungs, "Herro hansum man!!!!!".. I mean im no homophobe, nor do i trip if someone calls me handsome, but ole boy makes it known.. like somethin crucial LOL. It makes me laugh everytime cause I really feel like dude is juiced to see me. So heres to Mr. dragon express for the cordiality of each time I go in there.

This weekend.. marks the 8th coming.. of the official!.. Flo-Real pajama jam!!!! This is like the premiere jammy jam out here, and it always cracks somethin crucial. Think House party 2 to the fullest. Im talkin robes and drawls, boxers and briefs, lingerie, panties whateva.. the full on pajams attire, its whatever. Ive been to each and every one of them, and oh yes, there will be pics and possibly some video. The party really goes from 9pm till the newspaper comes. No, really. I was standin by the door the last time, and yea it was about 6 something in the morning, and a thump hits the door.. we thinkin its maybe someone coming to pick someone up.. naw, it was the newspaper.. now thats partying! LOL. Im anxious for this one, like all of em.

TWOs-Day

2008-03-04T10:38:00.000-08:00

Song of the day- "why you wanna" by T.I.- "Compliment you on your intellect and treat you wit respect, give you sex till you sweat, tongue kissin on ya neck"

One of those songs that just put all swag on high, and make ya feel like the most dapper cat in the room.

Just got out of another boring meeting, nothing really important again LOL. Is it me or is this week already going by fast. I swear yesterdays work day was as fast as Carl Lewis in the 80's , and today's going even faster. I came in at 8 and automatically it was 9am LOL. I will not complain. I cant stand those folks in the meetings that always try and give themselves the pat on the back from every single thing that is brought up. You could say some bull like, "I had a great lunch yesterday".. they would come back like " Definitely, my lunch was cheap and great, i really enjoyed it, it was a great deal, Im more happy then ever with my food..." just to one up you.. Man please!

So I went to the adult skate on Saturday night, and came up with a new skate move! LOL. only problem is I got the biggest blister on ma damn foot from it, tryna look cool on the skating rink floor, tryna skate with the fast skaters and stuff on the outside lane LOL. The adult skate is a breath of fresh air for me, a change of pace from the club atmosphere, and everybody there is on some sober, skating fun tip. You got the old playas out there tryna get their youth back by moving fast as the wind. I know they ice those arthritic knees when they get home, while we out there just tryna be as cool as possible without falling ( I almost fell once, but rolled out of it with style.. *puts my awareness up 2 points on madden 08*). Who woulda ever thought going back to skating ina big circle all night would be so much fun again.

Went and saw "semi-pro" on Sunday, wasnt as funny as I had expected, but it was still a decent flick. I'm more excited at the fact that all the games are beginning to get meaningful on TV nowadays.. NCAA, NBA, everything. Setting up for a strong post-season for both sports. I chose to pick the suns as my postseason team this year since I don't have a favorite team in the NBA. Just as long as the spurs don't win!!! Man. Boring team. *Yawn*...

On a sadder note Thanks, Brett

Cold Game

2008-02-29T11:22:00.000-08:00

Song of the day-"Slippin" by Lil Kim- "fuckem and leave em then they afta ya paper, put a hole in the condom and say that you raped her..." Real talk.

I call it the baby boy complex. The situation where at any point in time a man/woman will become so smitten by their old work/ex/in between counterpart that it draws them to insane acts of violence towards the car, other party, cell phone thru text messages, so on and so forth. After "baby boy" came out, so did more and more cases of these situations. And as I go thru the experiences vicariously through others, it makes me laugh more and more.

One thing I am learning and learning as I grow and mature is the nasty nature of the relationship beast. He's a mean one, mr grinch.. I experienced it first hand last night at our party (pictures comin soon).. How in the world can someone become so head over heels for a "girlfriend", "lover", etc that it leads to physical encounters?!? choking?! for real though?.. I mean i can understand the deepness of say a marriage, the ultimate form of monogamy, but I mean cmon now, these small time relationships, lasting less than a year or something, with these "I love them after a month" loves.. And then all of a sudden when you see ole girl with the next cat, you lash out on her by attackin her throat witcha hands? at the club? *shaking my head*..

Oh but its not all his fault, cause ole girl definitely was with him only 2 weeks ago, and all of a sudden after a 2 week breakup you already have a new dude? and yall are hugged up in the club? This is definitely the part of the game I must have been sleeping on when I was in class.. And in the end, the new dude wants a piece of the old dude cause the in-between chick has caused conflict for being that girl at the club. Knowingly going to a spot she knows her old dude will be at, knowing he has an issue seeing her with other men, and knowing hes asked her to at least respect him and not throw anything in his face. I'm not condoning the Ike Turner tactics that my friend used, not at all.. at the same rate, i blame the "baby boy" complex, and these peoples lack of appreciation and maturity for building relationships these days, which of course like I have said so many times before, is a lost art.

I was frustrated by what went down last night for 2 reasons. First, its opened up a can of worms I dint care to deal with. Friends on 2 different sides of my track now have an acclimated beef towards each other, which may cause an implosion anytime these so called parties are around each other(which out here isn't hard to do..) Second, it just further makes my quarrels with the relationship game be realized, and also makes me happy I don't have to deal with that. Just imagine a frustrated me walkin around the club with no enthusiasm while most everyone else is tryna find their work for the night, get that much more tipsy, or scrunch around on our little ass dancefloor.. LOL.

My thought of the day: Yea I know women say men are dogs, but ill be damned if the female dogs of society aint catching up with us at a rapid pace. We all greyhounds in the race for the relationship trophy, and these females nowadays are catching up to the men in the dog race...cold game. You can say all you want to about women turning that way because of men, this and that, I believe that its plain and simple disrespect for monogamy..

Quinton Spivey 101

2008-02-28T11:02:00.000-08:00

"Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

A quote by Terrence Howard in Elle magazine.. SO great..I am going to the store to buy some baby wipes on lunch. LOL. I mean for real though, we all used to get wiped with baby wipes, then slapped with powder. I think Im just gonna put some baby wipes in the bathroom along with the tissue as an option.

Heres T. pimpin at his coolest.. one of my fav scenes from "the best man" LOL. I think Terrence Howard's the only man that can call anotha man "honey" without getting in trouble LOL.

"we dont stop till tha pannies come tublin dowwn..."

Hi EESH! LOL.

Stoopid poeim deigh!

2008-02-27T09:23:00.000-08:00

So its stupid poem day LOL.. and well, here's mine. Shout out to all the poets of the world that write poetry to get booty.. or maybe just to get a reaction out the crowd like, "that's a deep pro-black brotha".. and then see him walk outside with a white lady LOL(See 1:00-1:20).

So here it is..

Women, woman, womans.. they all the same.. cause we all in the same game. Run dmc, ruby dee, denzel, what the hell..
I'm the original American gangsta, I snitched on my momma.. went to school and told the teacher ain't no such thing as a comma..i make my own rules.. fools!
Hey, come scratch mah back, im talking bout that ray charles scratch!
I wanna swim 20 laps in ya! Yea,.. in ya! 20 of em.
I'm the one in the club doin the runnin man, backwards, on my knees.. you know how hard it is to do the runnin man on yo knees!! I'm the cats pajees…

That’s pajamas for you squares.
I hate pears! You know that green fruit..
Gimme the loot gimme the loot!
Im my own babies momma.. lemme say that again.. im my own babies mama..
Don’t make me slap you..
Go make me a sammich! Like a Sammie from quiznos!

Thank you.

TWOs-DAY

2008-02-26T13:10:00.000-08:00

Song of the day- "Next lifetime" by Erykah Badu- "Well I know Im a lot of woman, but not enough to divide the pie".. Since her album New Amerykah came out today, I felt like showing her the praise.

So its tuesday. And thats pretty much it. LOL. Nothing exciting has happened today, nothing blazing. I had a good sammich from quiznos for lunch, thats really about it. Had a long meeting this morning about nothing that I am involved in at the job, so naturally I was sleepy. I keep myself up in meetings by writing music lyrics. So todays song was "bed" by J. Holiday. The best part about it, it looks like your writing extensive notes on something!.. *pats myself on the back*

SO I decided to include myself in this face contest ma girl PUDDIN is having for the tounge to come out! LOL. heres my inclusion

notice the straight, brushed and flossed teeth.. LOL.. big shout out to my momma, cause if they werent clean, she woulda called me the moment she saw this yelling about " u kno damn well I taught you betta then to have yellow teeth!!!"..

razzle dazzle.

Case of the Mondays

2008-02-25T09:52:00.000-08:00

CD of the day- "Somebody to love" by Darien Brockington. Key songs: "I miss you", "come on over" "don't say goodbye"... I would advise any who don't have this cd to go cop it. D.Brock is one of those artists who (maybe not all coasts but I know for a fact on the west coast) doesn't get much love. Enhance ya music knowledge!

Ah, monday.. How I hate you. Theres nothing worse then to know that as soon as 6:00pm on Sunday hits, you wanna try and make time go by as slow as possible dreading the monday that's coming. And it almost never works. The hours go by all quick, and next thing you know, the alarms goin off at 6:45 and now starts the work week. I looked in the mirror on my headboard this morning as I woke up, rubbed ma eyes, and said.. *insert mumble jumble deep voice expletives..*.. funny, I sometimes sound like luciphers lil brother when I wake up. Its like my voice has to wake up to, and until it does, me, Barry White, and James Earl Jones have a lot in common.

My weekend was halfway non eventful,with all the sleeping in I did, but the things I did do had relevance. I went to the "bodies revealed" thing on Saturday. It was an interesting experience, as we actually read each and every portion of the showing. Some people just looked at the specimens and kept it pushing, but we found it interesting to actually KNOW what ya body got going on. The whole exhibit basically shows how the human muscles work, the flow of blood, the artery trail, etc. etc. etc. But its a really eye opening experience. There was even a little portion of the exhibit where it showed the evolution of a fetus.. I enjoyed it, and its one of those things where you can look back and think, "I'm glad I went". I talked to my boy Terell about it, lol, and he thought the same thing I did.. its funny to see the testes without a sac LOL. Cause without one, they are hella far apart and nowhere close to your penis LOL. How important the sac is..ladies be happy theres a sac down there.. Well, dudes too. Cause shoot, none of us would get any lovin with the specimens I saw on saturday exposed.

Sunday I went out to the black history month celebration some of my extended family was a part of, as well as showing support for my best friend trying to sell some of his paintings. As much time as Q spends in the back room at my house painting, that brothas gonna start selling these paintings left and right before too long. I see your vision mayne! I enjoyed the whole show though, the JODAMA dancers went to work (didn't know Omi had stick like that!), and the informational on slavery, jook joints, and gospel were well put together. The food was great, the atmosphere was cool, and I had a good little time.

The suns finally out again, which is setting up for a good week hopefully. Got the black and white party on Thursday, which should be a hit. Im swamped with work today, again, and now I'm on a new assignment. You ever have those days where when your supe comes up to you and basically "ask-tells" you to do something, you just wanna say "naw actually, I dont wanna do it.." The thought came to me this morning, but instead, I just let out a James Earl Jones "yea, sure".. and kept it pushin.

Damn monday.

2008-02-22T13:10:00.000-08:00

Song of the day-"sunshine" by Lupe Fiasco- "outta the trillions of numbers thats in the world, just leave me a few, that lead to you"

Though sunshine is the song of the day, its definitley not the weather at hand. More rain in the capitol city. Im not doing anything this evening. After the busy 4 days I had last weekend, Im just gonna sit down this weekend. I am supposed to go to the "bodies revealed" thing though, where they show you the human anatomy without skin and the muscle functions, etc. etc. It sounds really interesting so Im definitley planning on taking something away from that.

My late starting class starts really soon and I am not looking forward to it at all. But alas, I have to get outta school. Its like a handcuff to me, and the kid has been choppin away at it with a hammer for a long time! And of all classes...MATH. I need a tutor. Who got me?

So I just got out of a meeting and assignments have changed again lol. Im not mad at it cause I have only been here since Feb 1 so I dont fully know how to do what it is Im doin right now anyways, but Im sure some folks are annoyed.. adn as the clouds roll away I can see a lil sunshine peekin through! Looks like the sun might pop out this weekend after all..

.Busy day..

2008-02-21T14:47:00.000-08:00

Song of the day- "Dont believe that shit!" by Young Dro- "supermodels dream o' me, the lovin ma ding-a-ling..gold teeth and chicken wings, maybachs and promethazine" (dro is the most colorful rapper ever.. lol)

Todays a busy day on the row (the row, is of course.. the job..). The county got me working on 2 seperate assignments at once, and me being the type that likes to finish one assignment fully and then keep it moving, has become a little annoyed at times. Im fine with it now, and its not an issue. especially since the days gone by so fast. Almost 5, which is almost 8, which is almost 10.. And 10 is the time to go out and make some more money @ the club. The usual thursday. But the assignment almost turned sour when I couldnt find any of the work that was done the day before on the hard drive. Much to my thanks, I was just looking in the wrong file. (wipes sweat off the brow).. But other than that, todays been okay. As tommorrow is again payday, I am all smiles! 1st rounds on me blog family! LOL.

I want my own special drink like Dre and Sid had on "brown sugar". I wanna go to the bar and say "tender, lemme get a (insert cool sounding drink) real quick"..lol. I actually have a drink at our spot, but only one tender knows how to make it. Affectionatley called, the "swag". A mixture of hypnotiq, a couple flavored vodkas, and a few otha things i never pay attention to. It comes out good though. But its not universal! My New York folks cant ask for a swag, neither can my down south folks lol. Lets make this a universal drink! Ima find the mixture and put it up.. Whos with me!?

Question of the day: Whats your favorite drink? if you drink..

The Dream Suite

2008-02-20T09:38:00.000-08:00

So I was given a quick topic to write on as quick as possible by a friend. The words were "dream suite".. And well, this is what came out of it..

The dream suite..

the 4 walls where all your sequential efforts are put into one,
as u and I push the limits
and strive to become
we involve so much emotion,
so much intrigue,
the passion and illusion bottled up and retrieved.
Come inside where your hopes and wishes swell..
upon many entrants can apply,
but only the sincere can dwell..

The dream suite...

Intently grasping at the thought patterns
to create a euphoric world
where only your counterpart matters..
It’s simple, yet complex..
studious and perplexed..
close your eyes and fly the friendly skies..

In the dream suite...

Run emotions bath water,
lie on sheets of ecstasy,
grip and pull at natures climax,
take a slumber next to me..
for anything’s possible in..

The dream suite

*shrugs*.. I have these days where things just flow well.

What a weekend...

2008-02-19T09:44:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "happy home"- 2pac.."promise that I commit to ya soon, tounge kiss me everytime you see me step inside the room"

So this was quite the weekend to reflect on. Busy from beginning to end. Not to mention it was a 3 day weekend as well:

Friday: Got off work and jogged to the truck LOL. Like fareal, jogged. That old,"I feel great to be offa work for the next 3 days" jog. Went home, took a nap. woke up and got prepped to go to the katt williams show! Hit up P.F. Changs first, snatched up a good ole bar seat and had a good meal. By the time we got finished with the meal, the line outside was already down J st. I knew it would happen but at this point I wasnt really trippin, I was just preparing to enjoy my night with no issues and good laughs. Ima first start off by saying that I didnt expect Katt to really do the same routine like usual, I hoped he would change it up a little, and he did. He definitley has 2 comics that were funny as all hell though who did their job getting the crowd hyped (simply cookie and leslie). They were both equally funny, especially Leslie (www.justleslie.com, google: leslie jones) when she came out talkin about females lol. I always knew she was funny, but seeing her live was even better.
Katt came out to a stronnnnnng ovation and much love from the people. Most of the stuff he spoke on related pretty much to havin good people around you. But I did notice when he spit on politics, some folks laughed but didnt really know why they were laughin lol. Went right over their heads, but what can you expect. Not everyone will know their politics. I think he was testing out new material also, as he seemed to stretch some of his jokes longer than he shouldve. But I wasnt mad at all, and the whole night went well. T was uncomfy though HAHAH.

Saturday - pops birthday! Q and I went to the mall and I snatched up a button up/tie combo for the old man, headed to the house and had a basic day with dad. Watched a lil pre daytona 500 hooplah, had a drink or 2, then watched the dunk contest and Dwight Howard's non dunk LOL. I dig the hops, but not the NON-dunk. After watchin the contests, we threw a couple mignons on the grill and commenced to grubbin on some good eats. By the time we finished it was time to go on and get ready for the evening. I headed home and got ready, then fell asleep on the couch.. LOL. the original plan was to only sleep for 30 mins, but by the time I awoke it was alrady 1030. So I smashed to the club event. As I stepped foot in the venue, I had already began to feel a bad vibe about the night, which ultimatley turned into me just being sour about the evening, especially when our venue was shut down cause the resturant didnt have an entertainment permit?!?!? I mean isnt that supposed to be takin care of beforehand? All in all, after that happened I was pretty much through with the night, even after we were able to move the spot to a venue across the street. Thanks Ron. But needless to say, the night ended on a sour note for me, and for the first time in a while, my annoyed state of mind was fully funcitonal..

Sunday- Woke up, and made some breakfast. Little bit of hash browns, biscuits, eggs, adn sausage.. Yes, your boy can throw down in the kitchen. Hey EB, dont think I havent forgotten about our steak bet!!! After that, the Daytona 500 came on, and yea i watch nascar. Its motorsports, and thats always something my pop and I have watched. I made it to my parents house with 10 laps to go so pop and I could watch the ending. After we were dissapointed to see who won, the boys started showing up for the next half of the day. We agreed to watch the all-star game, as well as the WWE PPV that was coming on. Yea I still watch wrestling, shout out to Terrel.. It brings me back to my younger days and makes me feel like a kid still, so I still watch it :). We had nachos and watched both events, and ended the night on a good note. A nice sunday to say the least.

Monday- Woke up early and headed out to San Francisco for the day. All in all it was a very relaxing day, and it was great to get out of the city. I did a lil shoppin, bought a few things, and got disgusted by the bumlife.. Hey T, memba old boy wit the hot dog legs!? LOL, I was weak.. The highlight of the day, besides the actual time spent was ole girl in panda express asking if she could have my fortune cookie..She was a bum of course, and came in looking for the hookup from someone, anyone. Saw me getting down on some orange chicken, and sits right next to me and says "can you help me buy some food!!!"... Now, I dont really care for bums, I may give a dollar here or there, but when you all in my face asking for my food or for the hookup, interrupting my quality time, NAW, I aint havin it. So I gave her the "if you dont get outta ma face" look, and she keeps it pushin. Security ends up coming in and escprting her(him?) out.. and as he/she walks out they scream "aye blood dont touch me, I'll lay you out!!!" LOL. gangbangin bums on the next maury. Still, the day was great.
So the day wound down and we headed back home, I was tired but had a whole buncha clothes to hang up and organize. I thought I would get a good rest for the night, until the phone calls came thru lol. So q, rell, unique and kelz came thru. I was sleepy still, but it was coo. Watched raw, and everybody shook.. then I passed out. What a weekend to say the least, I dont PLAN on doing shit this weekend. But we all know how that works..

Happy birthday pop!

2008-02-16T15:25:00.001-08:00

So the show was a success in my eyes last night. I
laughed a good amount and had anenjoyable time
overall. the comedians before katt (simple cookie,
leslie, d militant) were just as funny as katt!
Leslie was havin me weak as SWV's knees when she
jumped in the crowd askin women if they gave head
or not LOL. Actin like they don't.. psh. she musta
hit this cat in the audience with the toughest
"bitch" I've ever heard LOL.. "SIT THE FUCK
DOWN YOU BITCH NIGGA!".. HAHAHA. I almost
fell outta ma seat...

So out comes katt. To a strong ovation and lots of
Sacramento love. If I had to judge his whole
performance, I would give him a B+. He had a
complete set, but sometimes stretched out his
jokes which led me to believe that he was tryin out
new material. I did notice though how many people
didn't understand some of the things he said, it just
flew right over their heads: When he spoke on
politics.. folks would laugh of course cause of his
delivery but I got the impulse that when he
mentioned Huckabee(presidential candidate) or John McCain, people were
like "who?".. I expect it from
a whole group of folks, some people won't know,
but it was surprising that Katt went that route. I
still enjoyed it. That brotha rolls around on the
ground more than anyone I know, wit his lil ass.
Some dude started boo'in towards the end cause
Katt was tellin a story on how mad he was when
he had to call flava flav a "cooney coon coon" @
Flav's roast. People kill me when they expect a
comic to only tell jokes and not get intimate with
the crowd, like the person can't show their
appreciation for the people coming out. The heckler
was met with an abrupt "shut the fuck up!!!" from
bout 5 people in the crowd LOL.

Its a lovely day outside today by the way.. jeesh.

I Wanna take this time out to wish my father, a very happy 52nd
birthday. I respect you to the
utmost, strive to be everything you are and more.
I can only hope that my successes equal those of
yours, and gain the respect of my family, peers,
and community. You are basically THEE role model.
father to 3, husband to a beautiful soul, uncle, bro,
etc etc to all.. and u are appreciated. Thanks pop!

..Honey

2008-02-15T11:49:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: "Honey" by the beautiful Erykah Badu - "fly free baby fine wit me,
I need to know if you're feelin' me"

So she was my 2nd crush. And has been my longest to date. I have yet to meet her, and enjoy her being.. Oh how I would love to though. I watched the "honey" video and was reminded again why she makes me drop my jaw.

Tonight: Kat Williams comedy show. I hear he hasnt performed up to par on some recent shows, which has me a lil skeptical about tonight. I kno he betta bring it!

Finally friday, finally payday.

February the 14th!

2008-02-14T16:34:00.000-08:00

Song of the day- naturally, its "happy valentines day"- Andre 3000- "when arrows dont penetrate, cupid cracks the pistol!!!!"

So its valentines day and I can recall when I posted a blog last valentines day. Its been a good minute since this blog of mine has been going on, and last valentines day was a funny joke. This valentines should be content to say the least, Ill be sliding my behind to our club to of course, throw the annual v-day party.. bring a date or dont, we dont care lol.

I really dont have much else to say but happy v-day to everyone I guess, I mean this is not a real holiday. In the words of those who eitha dont have a "valentine", or want an excuse to hate the opposite sex "valentines day should be everyday not just one day waaa waaa waaa".. I know one thing. If I dont drop this card off to momma, I still wont hear the last of it. Ima be sure to get there, drop it off and be out before pop gets home wit his bouquet, candy, and card for his lovely wife. I dont feel like watchin middle aged cupcaking haha.. Even though its an attribute to his ongoing love for her. But still! EW.. LOL

..gimme the lucious!

Soundtrack to ma life right now.

2008-02-11T13:05:00.000-08:00

im jackin this from ma blog folks EB the Celeb:

Opening Credits:: Dec 4th- jay-z

Average Day:: golden time of day- frankie beverly and maze/ keep ya
head up- tupac

Spending time with friends:: where you at- lil wayne

Driving:: my rims-federation/ lets get away- T.I./
lil wayne- the carter 2 album

Bad day:: slippin-lil kim/ Ye-yo (live) erykah badu
song cry- jay z

Fight scene:: new oakland- mistah F.A.B.

Mental breakdown:: miseducation of lauryn hill-lauryn hill/ eye on the
Sparrow/ he will take the pain away- Kirk Franklin

Life is okay:: there is a way- mos def/ teedra moses-whassup/ Happy home- tupac

Graduation:: Good Life- kanye west

Longing for love:: weekend love-dwele

First glance/new crush:: Excuse me miss- jay z/ slow down- bobby
valentino/ slow dancing- omarion/

Secret love:: she don't have to know- john legend/ distant lover- lil
boosie

First date:: you don't know my name- alicia keys

Falling in love:: I hope its you- donnel jones/ in a sentimental mood-
duke ellington

Love scene:: (mixtape, too many songs to count) see " Lights down low vol 1"

Breaking up:: cheat on you-trey songz/ another again-john legend

Long night alone:: street love-lloyd

Wishing for love to return:: take me- teedra moses ft raphael saadiq

Fighting to get him/her back:: Do you-neyo

Proposal:: living for the love of you- the isley brothers

Wedding:: beautiful- darien brockington

Reflecting on life:: my life- mary j. blige

Reflecting on love:: I miss you - Harold Melvin and the blue notes/ I miss you- darien brockington

Death scene:: my life is in your hands- Kirk franklin

Closing credits:: Big brother (instrumental)- kanye west

:)

incomplete and fraudulent

2008-02-07T12:59:00.001-08:00

song of the day... "fatty girl" Ludacris, LL cool J,
Keith Murray- "cats cringe and point like (PHEW!)
mmm! you could see that thing from the front!"

Remember that song? the song went to work, the
video went to work, and then when everybody
bought the Fubu album thinking it was gon be just
as great, we were all highly dissapointed lol. Why
do people make such dumb albums? your albums
gotta be complete from front to back. Which is a
reason Usher will never make anything better than
"confessions", L Boogie won't surpass
"the miseducation of lauryn hill", and Hollister
flopped and fumbled after "Chicago 85".. well his
was also horrible production and change of label.

But you get my point.

Where's the complete album gone? I'm so tired of
skippin track 5 thru 12 cause they all are about a
whole bunch of nothing, and all sound the same. If
you listen to a jahiem album, one reason he's never
gotten the big big success he may deserve at the
time is cause all his songs are about the same thing.
Shoot, maybe even the same woman! LOL . Change
pace jah-jah.. sing about somethn else besides the
"shorty that I saw sittin offa hunid fifty fifth st.
lookin so petite, I had to speak...."
Where's the intensity involved in makins the album?
where's the story behind the album?... why can't I
get an album like 'illmatic" again?.. I could write on
this for hours, but my fingers aint strong enough
today, and my lunch is only an hour..

My question to you.. What are some complete and
memorable albums to you?

Razzle dazzle.

yup.

2008-02-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

song of the day: Omarion, "slow dancing" ... "make
the dj slow it down/ so I can put my arms around
you/ got to get u next to me/ girl we about to be..."

Another nice day outside, I spent my lunch sitting
in my truck and relaxing, windows half down and
enjoying the nice breeze. The nights are startin to
come later which is a sign that maybe springs gonna
come early this year. I hope so cause I don't care
for the janky weather. Anyways, not much going on
just waiting for the weekend. hump day, ready to
finish the last half of the week.

payday friday. I'm tired!!! jeesh. I gotta get used to this 6:45
thing..

WOW.

2008-02-04T17:24:00.000-08:00

So I usually don't post twice ina day, but I saw
something that made me smirk today lol. I'm drivin
home and I see a white man pulled over to the side
of the road waving around an "Obama 08" with all
his might lol. Woulda never seen that 30 years ago, shit, 10 yrs ago.

Get yo asses out there and vote!! I kno I will be in
full effect for this election, as I have been since I
was able to vote.

VOTE UP! lol

.. mondays

2008-02-04T12:44:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: Bobby Valentino, "gimme a chance
"... "don't procrastinate/ girl don't make me wait/
cause this eye to eye thing aint enough/ I need you over here..."

I'm in a good mood today, even though the giants
won the super bowl. It still really hasn't sunk in
yet, but I still feel like they took my cowboys
spot in the game.. grrrr. After a weekend of rain,
the sun has come back out here in northern cali,
still cold as ice but at the same time feels good.
Who came up with the term "cold as hell" .. That
makes no sense whatsoever.. Last I checked hell
is sposed to be..well.. Hellacious.. just a thought lol

I realized as I woke up this morning at 6:45, yes,
SIX FORTY FIVE (those who know me personally
know this is a monumental thing for me) that I
have a newfound ambition and get up about myself.
I woke up smiling today, I usually wake up and
grumble with some expletives lol. But yea, I have
some inspiration now that I didn't have most all of
2007, and it feels good to identify with it.

welp, back to training.. I caught myself doing the
head doze this morning in training, I nodded off
hella tough. haha. noone noticed though!

swagga up!

pursuit of happyness. .

2008-01-31T15:42:00.000-08:00

Soooo. I got the phone call from laura yesterday
morning letting me know that I am now an official
employee of the dept of health and human services.
effective friday feb. 1st, ill be an official sr. office
assistant... hold the applause lol.
The funniest part about it was that the night
before I had a slight epiphany of understanding, and
I finally started to understand that maybe not all
things will go the exact way I want them to. I've
written before that I have a positive outlook on
almost everything, and that kinda jades my view
of things that just aren't meant for me. So after
I had a talk with my mom about maybe taking an
approach to things different, I had a semi mind
lapse and a lost sense of reality. And then, just like
that, I felt better and understood not everything
is in my hands.
I got a text from my pop later that night letting
me know that everything would be fine, and I was
favored.. the next morning, I get the gig lol. Tell
me that aint faith at work at its best. So I start
tomorrow, and I'm happy about it.

blessed and paying attention to positive attraction
in 08' behbeh

.not yet

2008-01-28T17:34:00.000-08:00

Haven't gotten the call from the county yet, but I
have faith that its gonna come within the next day
or 2. Still keep me in your prayers!

I stubbed my toe hella tough today, dropped the
treadmill I was moving into the guest room right on
the big toe.. junk is on fiyah!!! Dang!

That's it, that's all. Finally stopped raining!!!

. .sent via tmobile sidekick 3. .

2008-01-25T21:49:00.000-08:00

So I'm in the process of going thru negotiations wit
myself on writing a book. I decided on the topic of
course, to be about relationships in this day in age.
Seeing as its a totally different style, a totally
new mindset, and a totally new way of messing up
the game of love, it made it easy to dissect. I've
decided the book will be called "all facades aside",
and it will examine the ups and downs, confusion
and simplicity that the game brings nowadays, as
we all have seen or experienced.
I just feel too strongly on how easy people can
allow themselves to be thrown to the wolves in
the relationship game not to, and too many people
have too many questions on it. I am definitley not
saying these will be the answers, as I'm no doctor,
but ill be damned if I haven't experienced and seen
enough to form an educated opinion. Its an exciting
thing to spark up a convo about, the problems we
as people have within our relationships these days,
so why not throw my two pennies on the table!!

lets get it!

. .sent via tmobile sidekick 3. .

Gimme 3!

2008-01-18T15:12:00.000-08:00

Ok so the question of the day:

What 3 movie characters from any movie would you be if you could?

1. Mike Lowry (Bad Boys)- Came from money, had the clothes, the clean cut, the ladies, the luxury cars. Man Mike had it all!. And he was a cop to match. Will Smith had a clean swag playing Mike Lowry from bad boys.. anybody memba the running scene in the first one? you woulda thought this brotha could run a 4.1 the way he caught up wit a moving car to save his boy. LOL. And then the scene where he was driving in bad boys 2 chasin the Haitians?? money had bars on the steering wheel. Mike Lowry coulda been a superhero. period dot.

2. Bleek Gilliam (Mo' betta blues)- Bleek had that ultimate type swag, fully equipped with the knowledge of an instrument. Could play the panties off of a woman, at the same time be the sensitive brotha. Yea bleek had women problems, and yea he had a shotty manager who had a gambling problem, but thru it all he still was a strong cat. I love how he articulates, even when hes clowning someone. " Why you bringing confusion into my home Clarke?" HAHA..Of course attribute Denzel playing the part to Bleeks existence but still, Bleek Gilliam was a beast. I could relate to him ina sense cause his first love was his music, and then after that everything else came. Gwon Bleek!

2. Darius Lovehall (Love Jones)- The Renaissance brotha from the windy city could do it all. Had knowledge of music, could spit poetry, knew his artists, and even rode a motorcycle! not a bike, chopper, but some old honda lookin thang, that created the illusion the brotha was a classic soul. Yea, he and Nina had their issues, but ultimately the realization that she made him better was too much to handle. Lovehall had that swag also, real smooth brotha who didnt have to say much to get his point across.

So those are my 3. Who would YOU be?

crushes, jobs, and the routine

2008-01-17T18:52:00.001-08:00

I used to have a big crush on Gina from martin, lol
I just felt the need to expose my old school crush.
yea she had a big head, but she was so great to her
man lol. She was a ride or die chick before that was
even thought about. Here's to Gina Waters/Payne,
she was my first major crush, and yea. LOL

I got an interview for a manager in training position next week, should
be interesting! I needa ask questions when I'm there so I'm in the
process of
thinking about those questions. The interview is for
Farmers insurance, so cross ya fingas and toes fa
me! and any pointers, I'm always open ears.

off to the poetry spot I go tonight, and then of
course, to the club to do the usual work.

. . . sent via Tmobile Sidekick 3. . .

..Ive been tagged

2008-01-15T00:55:00.001-08:00

So I've been tagged by my cousin pretty black. I gotta tell 7 things about me that most wont know. HA. Well here goes.

1. When I was 6 years old I broke my wrist running away from a whoopin. I had done something dumb, like usual when I was a youngin, big head and fast as the wind, or at least I thought. So pops, comes home, and mommas in the den talkin to him about it. At first I think hes playin about whippin ma ass, but as he swooshes the belt outta each and every loop within a second, I realized it was a wrap. So I began to run and wildly pursue my freedom from the wrath of "maid merrian" (my dad had an old army rope that was short and put welts on ass cheeks somethin tough, appropriately named "maid merrian"...I never looked at robin hood the same), but as I cut the corner to freedom, amazingly the big ole wooden oak table was in the way. **CRACK** goes the wrist, down goes frazier (Eric..) and out come the tears.. I think i told all my kindergarten friends I got ina fight and broke it, but alas, it was only from an attempted whoopin.

2. I listen to pretty much anything, and know the words to most songs. even rock. Ive been known to bump Led Zeppelin something tough in my quiet times, and oddly, it calms me down. The jazzy, r&b influence that Jimmy page and John bonham gave off in their beats give me the inclination that they really knew about music. And Robert plant separates any disbelief that he didnt have a swag way back then. Call it what ya want, acid music, weird ish, but I call it pure music. So if you see my drivin down the street and maybe hear a clean rift comin out the windows, don't be surprised.

3. I twitch in my sleep, so Ive been told.. but not like small twitches, real snappy ones. No clue why. I was told that most people do, but mine are like hard snaps. Never has affected me, but I have been told that its kinda scary when I just jerk outta nowhere.

4. I have a fear of failure, which is one reason I have a slight fear of flying(not in a plane, but taking risks). Its even played into other facets, for example women. Most people don't assume I would ever be shy, but I used to have a real problem approaching females, and would just charge it to the game and keep it pushing instead of going for the gold. Funny, it still lingers today, even though my confidence has boosted 10 fold. I still to this day don't really do the initial spark of conversation with women, it comes in a different package of course cause I'm just an extrovert, so I can talk to anyone really. But there is still a timid nature in the approach. So for those of you who read this and think, "he think he got game..." In all reality, I'm not as open as you think I am. And its not a facade.

5. I have an OCD when it comes to shirts and inner sleeve seams.. its the weirdest thing I think I have ever done. but if you take a tshirt, and feel the inside of the sleeve on the little doubled up thread, MAN. I can be caught toying with those things on almost any of my tshirts. People probably don't notice it at all, but if your ever around me and see me just picking at my shirt, and REALLY focused on it, you know that's my OCD.

6. I can sing. rarely in front of people, never when I'm asked to do it, but I can actually sing okay. Not American idol, not able to get a contract, but just good enough to be like, hmm. The baritones good for something besides puttin people to sleep when I talk to them on the phone I guess.. Oh that's another thing, I tend to mumble sometimes. I have too much bass and not enough treble in my voice. It gets annoying when people say "huh?" to me, so I really have to articulate my words when trying to be heard. Speech impediment? NO. Just a deep voice LOL.

7. Ive never been remotely close to being in love with a lady. thru 2,3 girlfriends, I haven't grown those feelings. Maybe attributed to my security block on my heart, fear of being hurt, or overall young mind, its never come into my emotions to actually feel like I was in love with my significant other. Definitely something that I hope to change of course, as looking back on previous endeavors I can only say that they were setups for ultimately a good relationship. Thru every year I mature a little more, and I'm sure the first step to understanding what I want from the love I end up giving will be the equivalent of what I see on a daily basis poured from my father to my mother, and also realizing that its okay to put my guard down.

.. WELL there it is. A little bit about me ya might not know.

..I'm taggin all yall, no one is spared

. Americas... Team....?

2008-01-14T18:38:00.000-08:00

Yea yea I know I know the cowboys lost. whatever. spare me with all the shit talking, all the "so whassup now!".. I dont wanna hear it. I invested some good life hours into this season, all for none.. DANG!

On a brighter note, my friends are better after the drunk driving incident. Im happy from that.

Now I go back to my little corner to sulk some more and find out a way to tryout for the dallas cowboys to ensure this doesnt happen next year.

.. its ok T.O. .. dont cry.

. . . .

2008-01-12T18:57:00.001-08:00

I hate drunk drivers. FUCK! I shouldn't have to hear
that someone close to me has been a victim of a
drunk driver. Got Damn man, if ever there were
times when I really wouldn't have a problem
touchin someone, this would be the case. . I'm not
happy about it at all.. Thank u jesus they were ok.

I aint got shit else to say today...

. . sent via tmobile sidekick 3. .

The "Factor"

2008-01-10T12:51:00.000-08:00

So I watched "the great debaters" last night and
I was definitley impressed with the movie. It had
a few loose ends but overall I was all eyes with it.
Little Jurnee Smollet has turned into quite the
woman, and she has a strong strong voice. I
enjoyed lookin at the mature version of lil eve
from eves bayou, and she had that attention
grabbing voice in the movie. Denzel in all his luster
gave one of those performances where you can tell
her took a backseat to expose the power of the
young actors who surrounded him and give them
the shine, of to which I applaud him. I must admit that if denzel knew
how much of his "swag" I've
stolen from him over the years, lol, he would
prolly have me arrested for copyright infringement
LOL. jk. But for real, its all in the appeal for some,
and when you have the aura to snatch everyones
attention in the room without saying anything,
that's called the "Denzel factor". :D sorry Mr. W,
I've stolen the factor. ha! Especially if I step in
somewhere fitted to the tee. Watch out!! *fixes
my tie*..

song of the day."on my own"- lil wayne, the carter
fast paced, unorthodox, basically 4 minutes of raw
flows. favorite verse?. . . "outta all the hot boys
she say I'm tha coolest!" . . well, its only right. You
can see the confidence ooze outta this blog.

cheerio.

. . sent via tmobile sidekick 3. .

music take me away. . .

2008-01-09T19:05:00.001-08:00

I was thinking of all the songs that I really love
and have so many great memories of. All of those
songs that I used to gig to when I was going thru
the 18-21 stage of life, the songs that I have
connected with certain people, etc. Its a mind
blaster to see how much music is a part of my everyday living. And I say
that as I sit in the car wit no music LOL ( I have to get the cd player
fixed).

Song of choice right now- bobby valentino's "tell
me". This song went to work!! along with the album
in itself reminds me of the summer of 06. That
bass beat banged extra tuff, and gave you the 2
step feel that gave the grown up touch to those
of us who were ready to step our games up. Here's
to "tell me".. and not the version wit lil wayne
eitha! the original. Everybody turn it up loud, 2 step
wherever you are, and feel good about it.

I'm gonna get back to doing my dissections of my
favorite artists, cds, etc and puttin em up. its
been a while since I did that. but its a beautiful
dissection.

..S.W.A.G

2008-01-08T14:43:00.000-08:00

Is it cars.. is it girls.. is it money?...the world?

*currently bumping "the fighters"-Lupe fiasco*

Neva me against the world is how I look to the skies. As I crawl into 08 on my last leg of 07, which was a trying year to say the least, I recall so many emotions that were exposed in the 365 perilously frightening and eye opening days that I was supposed to believe would be a great year for me.

I have shifted my overall focus from 2007 which was to have fun and enjoy the last half of my jordan year, to the seriousness that my life has become in 2008. Its truly amazing how much sight you can lose in a span of 365 measly days. How you can feel like your floating one day, and then 6 feet under the next. Those who read this and may not know me, should know that my turnaround rate of anger is extrmeley quick. I can be angry about something one day, and as I think more about it, it will become more irrelevant and the next day, will be a pure after thought. Whether it be someone hating, me not getting a job I wanted, getting scolded, messing up a relationship with someone.. I have an extreme quickness in my jump back ability.

A downfall? possibly. The fact that I know Im like that makes me believe its a blessing. A blessing to not dwell on the small things, and focus on the biggest picture of all.. That I need to focus on bettering myself without the distractions. The blurs of the hearsay, the bulbous amounts of information placed into ones head that really doesnt need to be there. I just disregard it. However, if it is high in importance, I will evaluate.

2008, yea I know we always talk about, "well if you werent doin anything to change yourself before the new year comes you really aint gon be shit when you hit the new year".. But wy cant one have hope they will change. A change doesnt come at the strike of midnight, jan 1 of the next year.. But the hope of a new start, the ability to press the reset button gives me a sense of comfort. I told myself that this year, I am getting rid of the inconsistencies in life.. and ya know what.. how funny that on january 2nd, I decided and was at peace with a decision I made to release a bacteria in my life. A cancerous friend. and I feel good about it. They aint here for the equality that a friendship entails, only selfish gain. So poof..

On to the grind. On to the possiblity that I may have someone in my life this year that could change my aspects of thinking in more ways then one. On to the posting everyday on my blog if i have to, just to say hello or peace and blessings to you who might read it.On to stopping the biting of my nails.. not extending myself to others who really dont need it. Making my decision final in something I do or dont wanna do, and not being wishy washy in my thoughts.. On to running full speed ahead at this game called life, cause right now I feel as if im just jogging.. I look back at 07, and I didnt smile as much as i did in 06 , or years b4... I frown a lot more, (thanks T for rubbin those wrinkles outta ma head when i do LOL, lookin out for me when i get older ). So on to smiling, and being ACTUALLY happy, and reaping the benefits of my hard work. On to my spirituality stepping its game up, and remembering where I come from, how much support system I have, and who is really important.

I question myself everyday as I look in the mirror.. in this world, as you go through everyday.. am I relevant?.... if not, whose job is it to make me relevant.. and ultimatley, I look at that mirror and see the face smiling back at me and tellin all the world... "here i come...."

Yall aint ready... or are you.

la. dee. dah

2007-12-28T02:38:00.000-08:00

Almost 08. almost 08. almost 08. almost 08. almost 08. almost 08. almost 08. almost 08. almost 08. almost 08. almost 08.Funny sidenotes for the evening:Last night, I had to flash on a lady cause she was disrespectful. and that's not a good look. As I walked my friends to their car (they had on some smaller dresses, so naturally u kno how dudes are..."hey ma! hey chocolate!" ..etc.) miss booboo comes up and stands directly in between me and said party and proclaims " my girl wants ya numba and she too shy to come ask, ion care bout this hoe in front of you cause she would disrespect me bla bla bla"... SO OFF TOP DISRESPECTFUL!I was appauled. . never happened to me before. crazy!the boldness!the gall!I didn't even know what to say. I brushed her off, later on saw her at lyons, and exposed her on her foul ways. She says " I was just trying to help my friend out, she woulda done it for me blip bap bang..." erroneous. man, whassup wit the disrespectfulness nowadays.. Jeesh. my forgetful nature allowed me to let it go, plus, its not that important. Almost have a new job, the search is comin closer and closer to a means. Keep prayin fa me!
I got gas cards for christmas. 4 of em. 25 a piece. 100.00 in gas cards. I was in heaven lol. gas is 7 million a gallon now, I'd much rather run to work.

. tadow. good evening.

empty wallets. . .

2007-11-26T16:22:00.000-08:00

the worst look is an empty wallet, but we all go thru it. . . we go thru the days of "i want that but i cant have it:".. it happens. and of course to me it has happened toward Christmas time. tho I am not too worried about it of top, i have too many other priorities to be worried about (school, work, new gig, etc). . ive been speaking to old friends lately, and wondering if that is something that is remotely acceptable or good to be around. its whatever i guess.. i havent written in the blog in forever.

Thanksgiving was just that, a time to be thankful to be around family. I swear i gained like 10 pounds, but prolly lost it all walkin in the mall the following saturday lol. isnt it the worst feeling to walk in the mall knowing your not gon by a single thing?. i kno im not the only one involved in that life quarrel. the family got together, took all kinda of pics, ate all kinda food, smiled, frowned. i swear i took out 15 bags of trash for my parents, and my name was called at least 852 times. My name seems to be the default around holiday time. once again, i didnt mind... the holidays bring the acceptance out of you and you dont get as frustrated as you would ona hot summer day visiting your parents house..

random thought: i wish my oldest sister would help clean.. nothing more frustrating then to have someone drop their dirty dish in the sink, look at you like you sposed to clean it, then walk away... i guess the saying is true, cant teach an old dog new tricks.. not calling her an old dog (29), but the tricks can not be taught. lord help the soul who inherits her laziness.. LOL.

weather is gloomy, its cupcake and inside by the fireplace season. definitley.. though i dont neccesarily follow suit in that instance. i dont know. whatever. maybe i do, maybe i dont..

I need seclusion from the world around me.. maybe just my city, so i think that calls for a vacation. outside of cali. how acceptable would that be around xmas time, and new years time. regardless how it will be accepted, im still gonna do it if its the last thing i do.

brief update, and thats it. more later, i promise to write everyday in my journal this upcoming month. . along with so many other changes. 07 hasnt been the strongest year at all... FIVE (yes 5) funerals, changes in occupation, a lost interest, and numerous other counts of issues has got me wanting to just get outta this month and look forward to a better 08. *crosses fingers*

Claire Huxtable.. (rough draft...)

2007-10-26T15:29:00.001-07:00

" its a beautiful thing to see the essence of a queen, complexion similar to me, so serene. makes my soul scream.."

many inquire as to why and when i will alow myself to transition into one with the better half potential in life.. a question i cant answer, only dissect into this analogy.
as my clair huxtable..

its simple to think that it will fall into place.. that one day she will step to me in her ever present appeal, sweep me off, and allow me to finally be rid of this block of surrealism i have allowed myself to put up.. the block of nothing-ness that draws me away from the norm, and into my non believing world.
with her spiteful stare, her endearing care, she wants to be closer to me. not in an instant of physicality, but that of spiritual endeavors.. neccesity to me, as it draws me nearer to her. a woman who strives for completion, who needs to grind to be at ease with mind.. her evenflow of existence is what allows her to smile at the small things,
rubbing bare skin, whispering the potentials within, allowing me to grow and achieve manhood within all the while becoming the woman in every aspect possible.
argumenative in her rage, with points to be made, ultimatley fiding a median and conclusion to maintain happiness at the end of the day..
her desire unmatched, with the full on drive to succeed and keep my desire attached. challenging each and every day to keep the intangibles key. expand the possibilities and strive to be successful in all avenues.
she can grow on me like a weed, forcing my thoughts to her at any time indeed..its so much more then just the thoguht process, and the infatuation stage, to keep it going and going.. it falls faster and reaches longer than a dream of she..her smirk can light up the skies.. shes the one to force you to need to be around, attracts attraction and has flair..

maintains and preserves her sexy, manicured nails, pedi toes, done hair..hygiene and swag, mean and vicious.. makes me wanna holla everyday.. not just at the initial hello.. eye contact without say so, sway back, wont allow my attention to detach. so much more than the physicial attributes tho, cause most dont know that the mental creates the physicial.. when she wakes up, her first thoughts are those of praise to the one above for her existence again. independent, only dependent on her faith.. wears her heart on her shoulder, can keep composure.. the goals embedded into her mind are the statements quoted in her everyday life, found only thru her results and those thoughts none can find.. strong like an ox.. speaking to me subliminally from across the city, my thoughts grow and mold unto hers..

I expect myself to strive for perfection, knowing that will never come, but still with visions in that direction. Expectations of my counterpart to strive to the upper level as well, so that we as one can eventually succeed and watch our successes maintain as well..

eyes and ears

2007-09-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

eyes and ears, eyes and ears. everyone has them but some use them for different reasons.. your eyes and ears tell you what you wanna hear, then your reaction to what u wanna see and hear, comes out in your interpretation of what the situation entails..regardless of considering any option of acceptance, instead, you just make an assumption that you saw what you think you saw, and thus you have a verdict.

I'm tired of the eyes and ears of society, I'm annoyed by the factors that are involved in the people you see on a daily basis. I'm close to through with being involved in the eyes and ears game. Its one that has no substance, gives no positive feedback, and only proves things wrong or errant. its a consistent circle of whatever, and wont really ever go away, just be paused until the next major ordeal comes into play. It makes me wanna become a recluse, cutting myself off from many a people and only allowing the extremely needy into my informative circle.

Those who know me, know that i am and have always been an outgoing person. extrovert. easy going, smiling all the time, giving good advice, listening, taking mental notes, observing all of my surroundings, and always extending myself to make sure that its all good. That's me. That's Eric.

But lately, that feeling has become less and less apparent. More now, that i just want to do me. separate myself from the childish aspect of the game, involve myself in the lifestyle that I'm leading up to. Cause all the slander and erroneous talk going on right now, is becoming redundant, and amazingly annoying. i recently wrote that I'm on a more positive note right now, and that I'm trying to give my desires room to grow. That is definitely taking a role in this learning process I'm being involved in right now, and the days of me putting myself out there to involve the masses is just about coming to an end. I was once told that with the aspects of my life I am involving myself in I'm losing pace, and that I should never restrict myself from my destined success for the latter of someones need to have me stay down with them. As true as it was at the time I heard it, my actions have ultimately got to speak louder then the words in my head.. So, I'm through.

And the process is beginning.

Quick update

2007-09-20T18:13:00.000-07:00

its been a good 9 days since I posted something on the blog. Just been goin thru the motions of daily life. Work is work, life is life.

I did listen to this cd my mom gave me about the "law of attraction" and how to find your niche. It was a nice listen, i folded clothes and cleaned the hosue while doing it. And it helped me to start realizing how much i really send negative vibes from my thoughts. Not neccesarily to other people but just to situations. I can hear myself count how many times i say i dread going to work, and how bad those days are when I do. Removing words like "no", "not", and "cant" are things i have worked on most after listening to the audiobook, and also remaining focused on trying to allow my desires to come to play. Hopefully it helps, so far it has, and Im in the progress of making all situtations better. The word of the day is...PROGRESS.

I had some of the extended family over the otha day, and we had a good time like usual. Watched the usual flick, and had a good talk about whatever and whenever. Ended up playin the grown up game of truth or dare, but this was just truth.. and a lotta truths came out lol.. I always feel like even though people may be playing a game involving the utmost truth, some of it still has its curves or falsifications on the inside.. I mean I kept it real, no need for me to lie, and Im not saying that others lied, but that feeling still comes ya kno? Like if someone says, "do you like so and so??".. and you answer honestly, but with the utmost careful answer you can come up with, so that you dont put yourself in a further situation down the line.. LOL, maybe thats just me that feels that way. nonetheless, it was a nice night, everyone bought their share of goodies, and we just had a good evening. Everyone left at around 230, and I can say all of our souls were at peace after the fun evening.

Theres nothing really on my mind about anything else, probably just the Jena 6 situation. Once i actually took the time to read up on it, and educate my self on the issue, it burned me. Still we are at a level where something like this is happening. Made me feel like its still the 1960's, Ill probably write more on it when I have the time and the mindset, but for now, that type of situation is remaining a burning note in my mind. Especially at the amount of young black folks that are involved in the situation. Seems its getting to be more and more in the younger generation.

For now, back to work. Its been a good day.

. NAGGING.

2007-09-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

So I have this issue with nagging people. I dont feel like people should be as nagging as they come across, annoying me with questions you already know the answer to, knwoing how Im going to respond, and knowing that you will be nagging me with your questions. Dont ask me "what are you doing" when you clearly see me doing something worth while or not even relevant. If im not in the mood to talk, dont ask me whats wrong.

Im an extrovert, I talk all the time, im and outgoing young man, always have been. So if im not talking, and my expression is blank, its clear that something aint 100% right. Im one to be left alone when not feeling well or up to par. "Momma say" (my mother) used to get on me tough as a kid when i was sick because I would never tell her when I was sick, till my nose was falling off my face. LOL. Private eric. Ive always been that way. Not feeling well = not talking, just kinda floatin, and knowing that the next day will be better.

So this snooty ass, uptight, janky behind manager @ my job comes up to me today as im working, listening to joe blow rant and rave about who knows what. I happened to be reading the newspaper, ya know, keeping up on current events, the usual, still doing my job as im servicing the customer (see "multitasking" in the dictionary). Her ugly self, we call her cruela deville, she looks just like her, minus the hair. wench. So cruela decides to stand at my desk area and make her presence known. Then..

Her: "so, what are you doing?"
Me: (puts customer on mute) "listening to joe blow tell me about his shitty millionaire life"
Cruela: "while reading the paper??" (scrunches her ugly lips)
Me: (blank stare, raised eyebrow).."yes"...
Ugly face: "AH".. (waits for me to put the paper down)

So I turned my back on her, focused back on my customer, and finished my job, and didnt put the paper down. She stood in the area for about 2 minutes more and realized that she wasnt goin anywhere with her strife, so she walked away in her stepped on, run down nine west pumps lol.. floozy.

I respect authority just as much as the next man, but dont try and use your status to intimidate me outta doing something that has no relevance nor distraction to anyone at all except you. My job still got done, joe blow was happy with the outcome, and in the end the world was a better place. But since cruela has a bit of status in this building, she gotta be burger king ambassador and have everything her way? YOU DONT EVEN WORK IN MY AREA! YOU AINT EVEN MY DIRECT CONNECT TO MANAGEMENT! spare me with your stank walk, and your old school shoulderpads, with your cheetah print dresses. Plain and simple, you suck.

Dont ask me a question when you see what I am doing. It should be clear. Keep it real if it annoys you, I can take the heat, even from a big wig. shoot.

anyways, ona brighter note. I have finally decided that Im gonna learn to play the trumpet. Been wanting to explore new avenues and roads in my young age, and after watchin bleek gilliam for the 50th time, i decided to indulge. "who you callin sissy, giant?!?!"

P.S.S. current trend for SEP-DEC.. the usher "burn" beard lol.. Im growin it out!

..swagga up.

Laborless day.

2007-09-04T17:27:00.000-07:00

So this past weekend was one full of relaxation and friendship. I had a good 3 days off, well needed and well deserved, as much as I work and have been. Yea, not as hard as other peoples jobs, but a job comes with its own stresses regardless of the profession. Its something about talkin to someone alll day long that just burns me up, thus the reason why I am looking elsewhere. So it was great to not have to indulge in that for 3 days.

1. BBQ's galore. I went to a couple bbq's over the weekend, and ended up being the man on the grill at all of them LOL. pop blessed me with the grill hand, and the patience to be on the grill and make that food right! i must admit, my food went to work. nothing like having everyone in the party compliment the grillmaster, including the mother lol. hats off. but anyways, it was a nice time, I didn't eat much though, being on that grill takes away from the hunger.

2. Liquor. So i actually got tired of drinking this weekend, i had a margarita that sat in my stomach for what seemed like an hour, and after that, this whole weekend liquor tasted bleh. so i kept to my juice and water.

3. Ignorance. so at my best friends bbq, there was a young lady there, of mixed descent. a nice looking young girl, nothing wrong with her at all. We all did the cordial introductions, as me and my friends do. Q's friend mentions to her "hey girl his white friend will be here soon, so u can holla".. immediately caught my attention cause of how loud she said it.. I think she did it on purpose cause there was 6 black men in the house, and thought it would be sarcasm at its best. Me being the person I am, i said "WHAT?!?!" lol. Then proceed to ask her about this so called issue of hers. she explains that where she was raised, the kind of music she listens to, and her experiences turn her away from we as black men. (she listens to rock, country, blabla..was raised in roseville). It made me laugh a little, and as we talk back and forth, the points I attempted to bring up caused her to feel bad. Not my intention at all, some of the others used it as a teasing tool, but I wanted to really get an insight and let her know, that all brothas ain't what she may have experienced. It tires me to hear females and males both put everyone into the same category, instead of using their situations as a case by case scenario. It of course came out that she just doesn't like "ghetto" guys, in her own words, "Ive dated white trash guys too".. which led me to say, well maybe you like a trashy type man?? LOL. came out so wrong, but had such good intentions. Of course she took offense LOL. In the end, she felt bad about her statement earlier, and even gave up the game to one of the boys LOL. intentions there??? who knows, but miss ignorant gave me a good laugh and a good reason to show her what some real young black men are about, with good heads on their shoulders, without trying to holla at her.

4. Quiet. For a point in time this weekend, I didn't say much of anything at all. Just sat and spaced out, with thoughts of nothing on my head. It happened once at the bbq, amongst everyone laughing and chuckling about whatever they were rambling about. I just looked off into somewhere else and said nothing, just observed. Almost felt out of place to be honest, amongst my friends. It was a weird feeling, but appealing at the same time. Which is why i chose to not go out on the town this past weekend. There were so many things to do, but i chose to remain sheltered and quiet, only to release to my friends at the bbq's. And it felt good. I got called old, LOL.. OLD AT 24!.. PSH.

5. POP. I also went to my parents house this weekend, to visit and do some routine vehicle maintenance. Pop and i worked on the truck a little bit, changing break lights, etc. The dang light was so hard to change, when before hand it was so easy, and pop got all frustrated LOL. Not funny, but for a man who pretty much knows how to do everything, something so small can make him mad. What a great pop he is, he told me to go on and take his truck while he finished my truck. I felt bad about it after I left, so I have decided to make it up to him. This man though is the man that doesn't really care for the major gift, material doesn't impress him. Substance does.. cut his grass with the utmost precision at 6am, and he appreciates it. Get him a bottle of that fine 1738, and he appreciates it.Take him to the race, or have a few drinks with him while watchin the cowboys win, and he appreciates it. Just take some of the burden off him that hes had to deal with for so long, and let him breathe for a minute, and he will appreciate it. So that's what ill do. Maybe ill just pop up at the rents house this week and make em some dinner.

.. overall the weekend was nice though, but now of course back to the grind. main focus, being school and getting a new gig!

swagga up!

. headache.

2007-08-29T17:15:00.001-07:00

I have a headache. and i tend to always get a headache when im at this job. the people arent the problem. I love my coworkers, my team, they make it happen and fun on team 11. we do it live and eat well. but the repetiton of this job is what has taken my focus and turned it into shambles. yea i kno everyone has a job that is repetitive, but workin at this job has just about had it.. im thru with call centers, this will be the last one that I will be working at and thats a definite fasho. When I come to a realization that its time to leave a job, then its time. because my focus will no longer be on the job taht im doing, but the job taht i want to do. an yea, i have made steps with each job, into a higher pay grade, making me happy that i can improve with each step. well its time again, and this time itll be a change of pace. ive already started the process of moving on, and im preparing myself for challenges ahead. this next transistion will be for the money, the happiness, and the knowledge that im movin up in the world.

until then, i still have that headache.

yea.. me too.

2007-08-24T13:30:00.000-07:00

Todays a funny day already. I had one of those wakeups, where im sposed to be at work by 1230, and woke up at 1220.. snapped up like the undertaker (see wwe, wwf lol) and said "oh shit"... veered to the left at ma clock, 12:20.. ahhhh! got up and smashed to the bathroom, washed up, etc.. took the quickest shower ever, still managed to wash everything thouroughly though (gotta stay cleaaaaan).. so as i began to throw ma clothes on, i figured that the black tee on the couch would be a good option to rock today.. maybe im the only one that doesnt have all his lights on in the house, or opens the blinds.. but as i got to work today..i noticed that i have on the ASHIEST black tee in the world. looks almost grey! im sittin ova here at my desk tryna use pieces of tape to eleviate this situation at hand. then i just noticed that i got chalk ash on the worst part of the hand.. that part between the pointer and the thumb.. so i go to use ma lotion, and dont have a drop!.. ah man. so im sittin here wit ashy hands, ashy shirt.. at least my shorts are clean.. and i need a haircut. bla bla bla bla bla bla bla...GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

. Just a thought

2007-08-22T14:04:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who lately has an issue with the lack of inspiration and drive that we as young men are having?.. scratch that.. we as young people, the ladies aint exempt from this.. now I aint sayin everyone, cause I know a lotta folks that are grinding and getting theirs, but I look around and notice a lotta bullshitting goin on, and less vision.. now I know we are young, I know we have fun to have, and long endless nights of crazy and non thinking nonsense, but i still feel as if the main goal should still be to stay focused.. we losin pace real fast. losin respect of elders and those high up who see us as lackluster and un-useable..

I was raised by two parents, and my parents have always been the focal point of my life, and have shown me the right way to succeed. whether or not I have taken that route at every chance given attests to my lack of focus at times, or my desire to be young at heart and just live a little.. but Ive never lost the attributes that were instilled to me by them, knowing that me as a young black male has to work harder and stay on my toes at all times in order to succeed.. my dads a perfect example. hes grinded and torn his way to comfortable living.. been thru turmoil with bases closing, to changing occupations and finding a median in his work and family life. successful.

I wake up and think of how my life will be within the next 5 or 6 years, to which ill be at 30. but I wonder if and how often those surrounding me do.. or those in my initial circle of life, people I come across on a daily basis, see here and there. the majority of the people being the same age as I, so we all do the same things.. but sometimes I feel as if Im one of the only ones that keeps hold of the vision. I want to succeed, I pretty much have to in my eyes. Ive been dealt with a sidekick and best friend since I was 8 that holds the same visions as I, reflective of his parents and his maturity as a man now.. that helps me keep mine.. Ive always been the type of person to try and inspire all around me to be on the same tip, and at times I feel as if maybe I shouldnt. you can only speak to a deaf dog long enough before you realize it wont work.. at the same rate, my outlook is if im eating, everyone round me should be as well... thats love. unconditional. but at the same rate, after diggin offa my plate long enough, that should spark something in the soul to be about it yaself.

Overall, I just have a hard time with the fact that as we get into our older adolescence, as ill call it, maturity and focus should be instilled in your everyday life.. I couldnt function knowing i dont have a job to do everyday.. getting up and enchancing yourself that much more each day, learning something you may not have known th day before, thats enough to have a positive outlook on your future.. I live for now, but I also live for life. life is definitley what you make it, and from the way I see it, as a young man growing into a GROWN MAN, in every context possible (not jus lil waynes song.. not just the way everyone says, the way a young girl will say cause she bought a pair of heels, or a dude will say cause his rims are bigger than 20 inches), I feel as if the desire has got to grow and be a neccesity. not just for me, but for all people my age.

We arent gettin any younger, and the worlds movin faster and faster, I dont wanna be left behind wishin I woulda got an earlier start. None of us should.

FLOETRY...sorta.

2007-08-16T19:33:00.001-07:00

so I went to the floetry concert last night at harlows..it was a comfy atmosphere, all the old playuhs came out, the Grown grown women came out, and the eccentric black folks attended as well..it was a nice lil evening, my cousin ceaser was performing in the band for the opening act, he came thru for his cuzzo by gettin me in..spragga benz was in the building!! SHOTTAS!...BUH BUH!.. it was a nice set that they did, only one half of floetry was actually in attendance, marsha..and a new girl, amanda diva, floecists stand in I guess..on the floetry remix tour..they did some new tracks where diva was the main focus, as well as all the floetry classics that jus put me in that oooh oooh oooh mood..marsha could sing the abc's to me and I'd still be in love..I got to thnkn that maybe floetry is breakin up..who knows..but ikno that what I needed I got, her voice (marsha) is so damn angellic, it puts you ina trance, as I was...unable to really speak, only motion my mouth to the same words she spoke, all the while not bein able to take my eyes off of her performance..I didn't really pay attention to the otha girl, which by the way dana, looks NOTHING like alicia keys...iono wut u saw lol..but marsha fed me tha business..somethn tough..

so thanks fa las night marsha ambrosious, cause I slept like a newborn
afta u massaged ma soul for an hr..*faints*

Family reunion pt. 2

2007-08-09T15:59:00.000-07:00

saturday- I walked outside at like 10am and it was already 100
outside..the heat smacks you in the face, then u get wet all ova
lol...crazy. this was the main day for the reunion, all the festivities
took place..the bbq, the activities, etc. I went to the mall first wit
ma cousin sterling, its pretty much like arden mall..nothin major to
talk about there...texas has its own form of bops, own form of scrapers
(slabs)..the bops look pretty much like the ones in northern cali, and
act the same too..made me laugh lookin @ em...so anyways, we hit up the
park, in a city called Cheek! haha..cheek, texas..thas hard
lol..everybody had the different color shirts but all the same family
reunion shirt, that way to distinct our families..I snuck up in
cocheese's motor home (the shit was bonkers, big as ma house
almost)...and had a hook wit pop..more drinkin, more food..and the damn
heat made for a good ole combo..we went in the main hall where the
fashion show started, me and ma sis were in it..lol, they loved us..then
came the food and the presentation for the heads of the family, all of
the children of the founders of the family..my cousin chakoula (or
chaka, his real names charles) gave the disertation..he's prolly one of
the most intelligent men you will ever meet, he looks like cornell west,
but grabs ya attention wheneva he speaks cause he commands respect and
attention..I wouldn't ever mind bein ina class wit him as ma professor
cause he's extremely knowledgable..so that was an emotional yet
satisfying part of it cause everyone was introduced, talked about,
including my grandma..so I was happy we were there for that, coming from
the farthest away..the night ended of wit everybody doin the cupid
shuffle and me and the dudes gettin mo tipsy...and anotha plate of
food..the best fod eva I swear...zummo sausages are the shit!!..if u
aint had one..dammit u aint livin...we went back to the hotel and slept
afta a long day out..I had a lotta fun tho..and it was mentally
satisfying..I think for all of us..afta that..all mayhem, lets jus say,
houston, t.i., young dro, etc..too much to type..thas for anotha blog.

sunday- by sunday momma was ready to go home, I was ready to keep
traveling, and it was comin to a close..we pretty much did nothin on
sunday but got to paw-paws house and eat..talk mess, watch the races,
and laugh..had more beer, more liquor, and more food..everybody went to
the boat to go gambling but I stayed behind and caught up wit some
friends I had out there that I had ran into at the club on friday..went
to a place called tokyo, a sushi place like benihanas where they cook
all ya stuff in front of ya, then we jus talked..afta everybody got back
from the boat, we all met up and went back to the hotel and relaxed..the
weekend was comin to a close but it ws overall great...I felt like I
gained hella weight..looked in the mirror and still noticed, I'm lean
lol..I love ma metabolism, cause I prolly ate 7 times on friday, 8 on
saturday and 5 on sunday...food was my girl this weekend ...lol

Family Reunion pt. 1

2007-08-07T19:15:00.001-07:00

As I approached my weekend full of my extended family on my fathers
side, I told myself that I would be going into a weekend full of
exciting and new things..this being the first family reunion that has
been had on his side for quite some time..and it being the first time
the family has reaquainted since the death of my grandmother..it was a
truly enjoyable time, full of smiles and brow wipes..tha heat in texas
isn't what u really ned to deal with, its the humidity..its just like
cali, but jus add a blanket of wetness, wit no rain..I didn't really
have a problem adapting to it, since I don't mind heat anyways...

friday- we came in early friday morning, got to our hotel, slept and
slept some more..we woke up and went to visit my granfathers
house..paw-paw is how everybody pronounced his name, so I joined the
crowd lol..we basically didn't really do much at his comfy lil house
offa s. fifth st but relax and talk..his laugh is on that reflects
innocence and happiness, though his eyes tell a different story..he's
been thru a lot since he lost his wife..we went to the gathering to get
re-aquainted wit all the fam bam, we came in lookin oh so cali lol,
stunnas and desinger jeans..stuck out like a sore thumb, but shit, ima
cali boy bred and fed..I kno no otha..it was overall fun, got to see all
the fam..me,pop,A.B. and cocheese snuck in a lil gin so we were lit offa
that..I drank so much this weekend, along wit eatin, iont kno what to
do. lol..we went to this club called "the ticket" wit ma aunt jada and
her husband cliff..it was a swing club, kinda small, but still had a coo
look to it..since I kno how to swing I wasn't trippin, but u kno we had
to let em kno how we two step on da west..so that was enjoyable..lol,
the bartenders there are some stingy asses tho..I was up at the bar,
flashin a hunid, and the heffa aint even act like she saw me..till clif
came ova and told me how u gotta do in texas "aye big booty!..cmon ova
hea baby guhl, I need ma drank now!"...hahaha..I sho did get a strong as
double jack and coke tho..we went back to the hotel afta that, it was a
good night, I met some new folks, and got to party wit ma family..had
some friend rice and passed the f out.

tbc..

(parental guidance suggested) LOL.

2007-07-30T19:57:00.001-07:00

Its called that incredible love..
the love I give..
the kind that'll take u out of ya body,
and make ya head spin..
speakin tounges
as I speak wit my tounge,
inside of u..
the depths I reach inside of you,
makes dreamers dream,
of releasing a love so extreme,
hibernation tha only way out of this scene..
backshots makin u scream the star track theme (ahhh ahhh ahhhhhhh
oooahhhhh)...
ur eyes welled up with water,
at such a heavenly scene..
don't worry bout me,
if u feel like u need it,
I got it..
that remedy.
The pill that takes u to the matrix theme.
..A perfect entry..
continuous thrusts,
keep them eyes on the mirror,
its a must.
The tip first..
jus to hear your groan..
the full on effect,
to help u release that moan.
Jus like a soldier bee,
I'm searchin for that sweet nectar in your hive,
I'm tryna taste that honey..
hittin it slowly,
or at world record pace..
afta I'm done..
I won't leave a trace..
only a lifeless frame,
of smooth,
curvacious,
chocolate..
the richest kind...

gimme 10 minutes, and I'm tryna taste u again..

..would u mind?