2008..

"..I find it hard to say..."
-Lauryn Hill


2008 is over.

And in this year I have grown in strides and bounds..
In love and life,
in trust and turmoil,
in release therapy and rebellion,
feelings of self pity and self resolve..
repentance against your own self,
your normal being,
your wake up call coming every morning to know thy self,
and to prove that you, yourself
are the on that can handle it all..
my vision once blurred,
now fine tuned like a blues guitar,
wailing on rifts of evolution that only i can envision..
growth that only i can play the music of life to..

though i find it hard to say
that i one day will be better then today,
its still the intuition inside
that guides me and teaches me
that i still can fly..

I hope i can continue to groom my sight of completion.
along with the beautiful hand guiding me in the right direction,
feeling my feelings of feeling for you..
the thought of success never fails,
only grows,
like a welcoming tumor that cannot be phased,
only fed and urged that one day,
advancement will be the ultimate pay..

I've learned to pay myself,
look further then my heart,
envision a sight of WE,
and not only feel the heartbeat of me..
to lust for more then love,
for that's only the beginning,
and to push harder
work faster,
be stronger,
fight longer..
for in the end, its all up to me,
to keep it going...

here's to 2008,
ina nutshell,
my eyesight remains up towards the heavens...
while stomping and scathing the thoughts of hell..

-E

Happy Holidays!

From my family to yours, all my blog loved ones,
I say unto you happy holidays. Enjoy the time that
you will spend with family, friends, or even just
yourself and understand the reason for the
season!

much, much love...

- E

stylin..

.. am I the only person who gets really greedy
round christmas time? I see everything I desire and
put it all in a subliminal mind list that I have for
myself. I've had the urge to throw every single
piece of my wardrobe out and start from scratch,
at least my winter wardrobe that is.. I see all
these fresh argyles, slacks, scarves, button downs
and I get to imagining, throwin on the square toe
game and stylin... and lookin fly.. ha. u got to
co-or-di-nate craiiiig!
speakin of craig... "bye felicia.."
I bet if you say that around any group of us, one
out the group will automatically say.."but craig!?"
LOL..
Back to the wardrobe..I hate that when you want
something, and don't have the capacity to get it
just yet, every store, every online seller, every
anything has the exact color you want, in your
size, perfect fitting and everything.. so today is
the day that you wanna have the 17 1/2 36-37
length.. the day I can't buy it.. and every other day,
when I'm able, they wanna have the shirts only a
5 foot 8 man can wear.. man when the cards are
stacked against you..even ya fashion sense suffers.
its hard finding an identity to your fashion at times
without either 1. killing your wallet 2. looking too
much like someone else 3. killing your wallet..maybe
well, no maybe.. I know I'm picky when it comes to
what I rock, simply because its hard to find things
that I like that fir right on me..

I need a fashion analyst..

..WOA, CALI?.. NO DOUBT

Im hoping that everyone had a great thanksgiving!!!

While I sit at work and all the other folks are enjoying their day off, I decided to blog, since I really dont and havent. SO im gonna take this time to read up and catch up on everyones lives.. lol

be back.

Why

Why the hell do men talk to other men in the
bathroom? Like it can't wait for 2 minutes until
you get out of the spot and send dude an email?..
Or like u can't go chop it up in the breakroom?
I heard dude today on the phone in the bathroom, in
the stall, wit his folks talkinbout, "yea man I damn
near hada kick dudes ass..." WHAT! if you on the
phone with me while you in the restroom and I hear
you grunt once, I'm off the phone. No questions.

Why does water at work taste so good?

blue M&M's go hard n the paint.

Why do people talk about work on lunch?.. "aww
man that damn code wasn't working so I had to tell
the guy to call back..".. Know what I say on lunch?
NOTHING. Shoot, as soon as this heat cools off,
I'm going right back to takin naps on lunch.

Why are there really only 6 days till the election?!
exciting times! I won't lie, the nerves are a little
unsettled about this one.

Why the hell is October already over?

Woa..

A month seems like forever when your not in blog land.. jeesh!!

Well, here goes..

1. I started working out officially October 2nd. And basically go 6 times a week, with inspiration from PT. We workin it out tuff!!! Hittin the weights, the bikes, the treadmill.. lets get it baby! Im up in there with the roid rage fellows, and all the moms that had babies tryna lose that fresh 25 they put on from the pregnancy.. yee! (sidenote: if theres one majority race that goes to the the gym, its asians. Nothing against the workout kind, but if another lil 5ft 2in asian man sneaks his way before me on the curl machine, ima pick him up and bench press him..through the window. ) My goal, to have some more muscle mass by January 09.

2. Works officially, official. I got my 730 shift back, which makes me more then happy. Its amazing how much 45 minutes does to your grumpiness in the morning..

3. Ive been on a music downloading craze lately.. all kinds. Im trying to stack up for the winter.

4. I have friends who arent voting this election.. and to them i clearly say (clears throat. bringin it from the diaphragm).. FUUUUUCKKKK.. YOUUUUUUUUUU.. you no good summama somethins.. no respect for those who died for your right, no respect for your family lineage no matter what race, and no respect for yourself.. it takes less time to vote then it does to use the bathroom, yet you would much rather have ya head up ya ass cause "you know whos gon win..", or "yo vote dont count anyways".. This is America, where anything can and will happen to NOT allow someone like my future president to get ahead.. simple simon muthafucka..

5. Chris Rock's comedy special is like all of his, to the point.. his joke about people with carers and people who just work, is clearly on point.. Im the one who is always lookin at the clock wondering why it took an hour to get from 1025 to 1044.. LOL

6. yall miss me? prolly not..

7. Whats the deal with my cowboys.. aw man, it hurts me soul to see this happening.. we will bounce back. im sincere about that one. If I have to fly down to TX myself and give a swift kick in the ass to all 55 of em wit a knife edged brogain on..

8. Today was probably the longest day ive had at work by far. You ever sit at work in the same position at your desk just cause your too lazy to move out of fright that you might use all your energy and fall right aslep? Im talkin answerin folks questions that sit right next to you in the form of an email... LAZY.

9. Just cause it goes so hard in the paint..(4:50-5:10.. I see you Nupe!)


10. And who said lil white boys have no gigs..


holler.

..Wait. Wut?

"Hada feeling, that it would be a day like this.. tha orchestra in my mind, dont play like this..."

- Lupe Fiasco

Well, the word of the month is early.. cause everything seems to take place so early. I have yet to maintain the effect of getting up while the sun is still down, though I still manage to throw myself out of bed at 550am every morning, Monday thru Friday, and drive to work on numb state.. Ever drive to work numb, not really paying attention to whats going on around you?? I mean really not paying attention.. just.. driving.. not until my car sputtered and I realized that I hadn't put oil in my vehicle in quite some time, and I had to pull over into the gas station and get gas.. and oil.. and reach in the water with the window cleaner and dump it all ova my face to wake up.. (ok that didn't happen.. but you get it..), did I actually realize that it happens quite often with me. I feel like a robot at times in the morning.

I'm really feeling like the more and more I go through the week, that I sincerely have no clothes to wear. I mean I can look around my room, in the closet, and just think to myself "I could really just throw all these clothes away (cept my suits) and start from scratch.. man, if only I had money to burn LOL. Wouldn't it be nice to just throw all ya stuff away and then go pick out a whole new wardrobe. I need to start doing like I did back in grade school. Go to the store and get a new look for the next school year. Only thing, that was mom and dads money LOL

.. My damn cowboys lost yesterday. AND the gators lost on Saturday. It seems that's how it happens, if one loses, the next loses right in stride. I was pissed to say the least, and then, my momma says.. "you woulda thought you bet money on this game?!?! y'all act like you play for the cowboys..".. LIFE HOURS momma.. LIFE HOURS.. I put in a lotta hours watchin cowboy games a year (16 weeks x 3 1/2 hrs a game.. ).. not to mention the time spent reppin the cowboys (work ranting, bar ranting, fantasy players, shit talking excessively, etc..) I mean, if the cowboys had a stock, Id be in the damn Board of Directors... (feel me EB, PrettyBlack).

-Ever notice that "Slim" from 112 , ain't really that slim.. or is it just me? YOUR LEEHHHTAAAH

-I'm tired of seeing this... " hey I'm (insert new big booty model, or artist tryna make a comeback), if you wanna call me, hit me at....."

-Hi, Im SWAG, if you wanna call me hit me at 916-202-youmustbedesperate

-Im gonna make my own stupid song with a catchy tune, and I'ma call it "too many minutes on my cell phone plan".. anybody wanna do the Roger Troutman voiceover for me?? TOO OUUUh MUYAAUUUUCH MINAAYUUUTTES... say it out loud.. then you'll feel me.

-Lloyd's new album should have had a few songs from "Street Love" on it.

-Jazmine Sullivan's not scared of "Lions, Tigers, and Bears.." but she is of love.. I don't know, if I saw mufasa runnin up to me, Love would seem a lot easier..

-Funny how stuff comes full circle.. when I was younger, I woulda sold my soul to trade my sandwich in my lunch to someone for some fruit snacks, or a donut, or something from hostess. Today? Id give anything for a sandwich and soup combo, and cant stand eating donuts, unless its really time to eat donuts..

Its already Tuesday!!!! Lets think optimistic for the rest of 08. The end of the day means the coming (GOD willing) of the next day of your life.. and as always, remember..

..The safest place to be, is in the presence of GOD..