Take off your cool

Unleash it
let it out..
the layer which negatively
pulls at your doubt
doubt that this indeed
will never proceed,
that we as one,
will never achieve

take off your cool,
let your warmth be exposed..
as i examine your hearts beat,
which you have composed..

Just allow me to search,
through layer number two
the layer which never
allows you to do
never lets your eyes wander,
further than the heart will allow
but let me explore it,
to crumble the walls down

take off your cool,
let your brain be exposed
as I examine your mind game
which you have composed

If possible please
I'd like to see
the potential that lies
in layer number three
the layer of strength
and everlasting pride
now let me approach
push doubt and blindness aside
for this layer now
is stubborn and sweet
at the same time complex
and somewhat unique

So take off your cool,
let your strength be exposed
as I examine your power,
that which you have composed

May I please have a tour
of layer number four
the section of you
with the sexy allure
the body,
the sway,
the forever foreplay,
the deep eye contact
the fierce approach
the "Im A lady...and I know it"
and damn sure not a hoe..

Take off your cool,
let your swagger approach
as I examine your complexity
which you have exposed..

And finally,
let me feel your sincerity
layer 5's emotional pull
that exposes dexterity
gives me hope for the future
gives me smiles of the past
makes me want to succeed
down loves unknown path...
tugs at my brain patterns
forces me to indulge
in a scene so serene..
and a life full of love..

So take off your cool,
let sincerity approach
as I examine your tenderness
which you have composed...

..Take off, your cool..


Copyright, Mistaswag2008

Rock Solid... Sometimes

I was reminded today of a situation I had to endure last year around this time this morning while reading -1-'s blog.. And how that situation really affected my mental.

It was when a friend of mine was killed, hit by a bullet in the back of the neck/head area.. I wont forget how long I was at the hospital that evening, and how long everything seemed to take. I wont forget that we were really good friends, and that I was kickin it with my girl Drea, Silvia, my boy Rell and Rip when Drea got the call that someone had been shot at the club down the way. It was an 18 and over spot, so naturally I declined on going.. I decided instead to have a nice night and eat some food from friends who loved to cook for fellow loved ones... but as we got to the club it was something different, seeing as we thought it was her sister and not her that had been shot.. and that it wasn't as major as it may have seemed.. But when I found out it was "Keeb", things shifted. My little homies came up to me knowing that we were close and were hysterical about the situation, screaming that they saw her get shot and that she was bleeding all over the place..all I could do was kinda search around and try to find a resolution to the issue at hand.

I saw her cousin running around without shoes on and screaming at the top of her lungs.. she saw me, and of course she probably could tell I didn't entirely know what was going on. Assuming I was probably with keeb's boyfriend ( we kicked it a lot at the time) she hysterically asked me "Wheres T!!!!!".. nobody knew where he was, I'm still wondering what happened, and allthewhile shes shaking and screaming about T needs to know..T needs to know.. So once I finally found out the whole situation, and realized my boy did not know his girlfriend was in rapid pace to the ER, I chose to make the call to him. Not sure why, looking back, would I not have called and had him find out another way? I don't know, but it burdened me..and I was THE most nervous on the phone Ive been in my life..

"T, get inya car man.. this aint good.. iono whas goin on, but I guess keeb got shot and she on the way to tha hospital... I need you to get her right now T.. Please man.. cmon.."

"wait..wait..wait.. wut? swag don't play with me man, what you talkn about.. what you tryna tell me man?!?!?!

He got hysterical and hung up the phone.. got there about 10 minutes later looking around. I told him to follow me to the hospital and we would go from there, but instead he just sped off without me.. So I jump into my whip and speed to the hospital as well..called him about 5 times, he finally picks up and walks out. Apparently, shes in the ER and they are tryna revive her cause the shot was direct..this is where the situation worsened..it was difficult enough for me to know that my friend was laying there fighting for her life, but at the same rate to see my boy going through the motions, killed me on the inside.. We stepped outside, cause he couldn't be in the hospital, and he literally broke all the way down.. a man with tears down his face trying to force out the words "shes trying, swag.. shes fightin!!!" please.. just let her get through man.. please swag.. I cant do this without her.." and so on and so forth..

..I can seriously say that I wont ever forget that moment.. EVER.

I couldn't do anything at all. helpless. In a life where sometimes my words can help a situation with a little uplifting jargon, I couldn't say a word.. I couldn't move.. I couldn't cry.. I wont forget that moment.. helpless as a newborn baby..and my boy was losing his rock..his love..

For about 15 minutes all I could really say to him was "she gon make it T, you know she strong...shes a fighter..".. if at any time I felt like there was no one in the world but me and someone else, that was really it. 15 mins felt like 15 years that night. Eventually his mom got there, her family had to drive all the way from the bay area, and people started to show up.. emotions flowed, and there was about 40 people in the hospital waiting room.. I noticed 2 things happen, and I'm not sure everyone else noticed it.. myself and Drea did though. They said code blue in the wing she was in, and then the chaplain snuck out.. I saw it and kinda dropped my head, and Drea tried to hold it in, but she exploded.. it caused a chain reaction cause now everyone was noticing that the situation just got worse.. I still couldn't cry, I don't think that my face changed expression for fear that if someone saw the change of emotion, it would read so tough from my face that I already knew Keeb had passed, they would know and it would be a wrap.. Once it was found out she wouldn't make it, well needless to say.. it was indeed a wrap. I still stood still, and emotionless.. T, well.. T just.. I don't know. I cant explain it through my fingers.

I just kinda stood there, trying to take everything in. And then I had to take people home, still tryna remain the rock. As I dropped off the last person, I realized that I had just gone through the death of a good friend.. and I also had to fly out the next morning at 8am to Texas for my grandmothers funeral.. If ever in life I had zero energy, and no feeling, complete numbness and was seriously moving on autopilot only knowing where I was at the smallest moment in time, it was at that point. I went home, I sat down.. couldn't believe anything, and I just released.. I ain't cried that hard since.. well..ever. I think this is the first time Ive written about it..still hurts to think on it. But I'm better with it.

I have had many a situation where Ive had to remain composed and be the rock for people. I don't knock it at all, I take it as HIS way of maybe showing me I have a strong soul and can take tough times.. I was mad this whole weekend, going into this week about my job situation, but no matter how hard I tried to be mad.. I don't stay that way. I regain the composure, and just keep moving. I may have a word of wisdom for someone going thru it, and I take it head on.. even in times of death. Some say holding it in and releasing it finally is bad, but maybe sometimes if people see the composure from me, they may see that it indeed will be ok.. I don't know. But im not complaining.

Miss FreshTaDef...

A zone restricted to those,
that only take it in stride
Learning to glide with the flow
not only go..
it takes many a man
to understand
why the world does not turn the otha way..
but I deal with what I deal with
and ultimately my faith na'er stray...
Living and walking
wit an urge to succeed
not even the downfalls
of my elder men reiterated
stop ma strive to need..

Need lust for life,
lust for her,
lust to live,
lust for birth..
I take it all in
with a breath and a smirk,
and realize maturity is the ultimate work..

Whether Miss Freshtadef cut open the wound
that allowed the skies to fly
remains to be seen
to my naked eye.

Though an individual
can influence the world
somehow it seems
that in my eyes
possibly I've been influenced
by this girl..
Her indefinite happiness
shadowed with the trials that life brings
the sturdiness of the backbone
the sexiness she perceives..
taking full advantage of what's thrown in direction
ensuing the utmost attention
amongst hidden protection..
tho 5 minutes not enough to know
and realize ones full potential,
like a lottery team with its first pick
investment controls any aspects
taken by my mental..

Indeed,
freshness stings the air
with so much perception
the namesake so fitting
when she looks in my direction..
So hence tha name
Miss Freshtadef..
without knowing outcome
of jumping from that incredulous cliff
I still proceed
to take the first step..

She is...



*written and copyrighted by MistaSwag, any use of this will result in my snipers shooting u down.. *

The Dream Suite

So I was given a quick topic to write on as quick as possible by a friend. The words were "dream suite".. And well, this is what came out of it..

The dream suite..

the 4 walls where all your sequential efforts are put into one,
as u and I push the limits
and strive to become
we involve so much emotion,
so much intrigue,
the passion and illusion bottled up and retrieved.
Come inside where your hopes and wishes swell..
upon many entrants can apply,
but only the sincere can dwell..

The dream suite...

Intently grasping at the thought patterns
to create a euphoric world
where only your counterpart matters..
It’s simple, yet complex..
studious and perplexed..
close your eyes and fly the friendly skies..

In the dream suite...

Run emotions bath water,
lie on sheets of ecstasy,
grip and pull at natures climax,
take a slumber next to me..
for anything’s possible in..

The dream suite

*shrugs*.. I have these days where things just flow well.