Thursday, July 17, 2008

Previous Cats

Song of the day: "Previous cats" by Musiq- "I'm not
steven/anthony even/leroy or ivan/damn girl I've
been/ right there for you/since day one/ so where is
all this comin from...?

I was led in the direction of an interesting question
today about sex and abundance of partners. It was
interesting because of course people always wanna
know how many people someone has slept with.
Say being in a relationship with someone, and the
issue of how many comes up. Its interesting to me
to hear peoples insights because you have 2
extremes to the answer. I've known couples who
have broken up over the number of people the other
has frequented in their life, simply because he/she
was dissapointed in the number, and thus felt
"betrayed" by their spouse. Then you have the
other side that maintains that yes, while it may be
more than you wanted to know or thought of, you
understand that life is life, and there's no reason to
dwell on previous happenings. Noone can go back
and change what they have done and whom with.

I always wonder why someones spouse would get
angered by the previous happenings of ones prior
loves, interests, lusts, etc.. If indeed there is a
form of honesty in a relationship, and it is kept
as "real" as possible for the sake of growth in the
relationship, why if someone is being on the up and
up with someone deemed as bad if what is revealed
is hurtful?

Ill be the first to say, yes when I was younger, I
would have a small issue, or feeling in the pit of my
stomach when I found out something I didn't know
about my spouse from her previous, not fully in
understanding of why.. But as I get older, I say
I don't care. Noone you come across nowadays will
ever have the angelic story of, oh I've never blah
blah blah...(maybe except desy.. ;)) but its very
hard to find that. Instead, finding someone with
a feeling of self acceptance is clearly removing the
vice of insecurity, in my eyes.

my question... What constitues "whorish" activity
on both males and females to you? and have you
ever been in or know someone in a situation who
lost a loved one because something was revealed
to their disliking?

17 comments:

Gotta Let it Out said...

FIRST!!!!!!!!

That is all.

Gotta Let it Out said...

WAIT! I have to answer your questions...

What constitues "whorish" activity
on both males and females to you?

Not having respect for one's body I'd say.

Have you ever been in or know someone in a situation who
lost a loved one because something was revealed to their disliking?

Yea... one of my guy freinds dropped a chick he was REALLY digging after 3 months of dating because he found out her number was higher than she could count on her fingers and toes cause she was a bit "lost" way back in the day.

I personally think he missed out on a great chick cause of his dismay for her past. I can't say i wouldn't have reacted the same way.

My dude and I are each others first and only, so I really can't say much about this...LOL.

The Flyyest said...

What constitues "whorish" activity
on both males and females to you? WHEN YOU HAVE ENOUGH PEOPLE FOR A WHOLE WEEK!!!
JACK ON SUNDAY...
WILL ON MONDAY...
JERRY ON TUESDAY AND SO ON!!!!

THATS WHORISH....

BUT WHEN GUYS DO IT...THEY ARE PLAYAS.... NO...THATS WHORISH!!!!!!


and have you
ever been in or know someone in a situation who
lost a loved one because something was revealed
to their disliking? I ACTUALLY GOT INTO IT WITH MY BD (BEFORE HE WAS MY BD) BECAUSE HE FOUND OUT WHEN WE WERE BROKEN UP I STARTED SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY!!


ME PERSONALLY, WILL NEVER GET INTO THIS CONVO AND I WILL NEVER TELL A GUY HOW MANY PARTNERS IVE HAD....AS LONG AS IM LOYAL TO YOU...AND I DIDNT SLEEP WITH YOUR DAD OR BROTHER OR BEST FRIEND....IT SHOULDNT MATTER....

IF A GUY WERE TO ASK ME, I JUS SAY...YOULL NEVER KNOW....

IF ITS 1 OR 100....THEY WILL NEVER KNOW! (100? whoa) LMAO

i.can't.complain. said...

ive heard that the difference between a slut and a whore is that:

a slut does what they want... when they want, how ever often they want

and

a whore does what they are told to do.

life is about choice, swag.

we all have a past.... as long as u can look at yourself in the mirror and still feel some shred of self-worth

hell, i dunno.

u (not you, personally, of course) still might be a whore.

lol

i was no help at all

-1-

Stew said...

i came to the realization that i do not believe in hos. this is mainly because i do not consider myself a ho.

it is very hard to judge someone on something like this if what you have done can be considered just as bad, or worse as the person you are judging. that's like the pot calling the kettle black. i would never call someone a whore/ho/slut or anything like that, unless it is just blatant and disrespectful to the person who is doing it.

hope that made sense

12kyle said...

good one Swag

i think that its always a touchy subject when you approach this with your partner. if you ask a woman how many men they've slept with...you're probably gonna be offended...even if she says 2! LOL

there are only about 3 virgins in this world so you have to assume that your partner has slept with at least one other person. don't be offended. just be careful about what you ask for...you just might get the answer that you don't wanna hear.

What constitues "whorish" activity
on both males and females to you?


Women who have had "trains" run on them

Men who have gone "raw" with 2 women in the same night on separate occasions. Just slack! I know a few dudes who have done it.

PrettyBlack said...

Good Post Swag!

Okay what constitutes a whore? If whatever you do with a male or female the night before makes you feel sick about yourself the next morning.

Basically if you think you're a whore, you probably are one.

Or, any person male or female who does anything, that's not on their own terms, ho's get pimped, if it's not on your terms your getting pimped.

I have to agree with Kyle on the whole train thing...I've kicked it in my day but there are a few things I NEVER got down with:

1) more than one man in a month, I may have seen a couple dudes at the same time but I was only fucking one of 'em.

2) No trains not EVA!

3) Laying with another bitch. If you have something to lick me with, you better be packin' the beef to stick me with.

4) Fuckin' brotha's, patna's etc. Pick one bitch and keep it movin' lest you be considered a bird.

Gotta Let it Out said...

LMAO!!!!

Damn ya'll...

Darius T. Williams said...

Um, this is a hard question because it's so damn relative.

I look for honesty above all. If you can be honest about your past, then that means you've got a decent level of maturity that I can appreciate. Actually though, I don't mind a little whorish past activity...you never know, I could learn a few things.

Oh yea, if we're moving to a committment status (which is the only time I'm having sex) then we need to get tested for HIV together.

This is our future we're talking about here...not just some little ol' walk in the park.

Crys.C said...

I had to end it w/ my ex when I was around 17.
I decided it was time for us to do the damn thing, so we had a little talk.
I asked him to honestly tell me how many people he's been with and after I heard the number I was extremely turned off.
He was 3 years older than me and I just couldn't figure out how his numbers were triple digits.
I thought he was joking, but he was dead ass.
Now that's a whore.

But as I got older, I don't ask for the number of partners anymore, I just ask for test results.

Monie said...

As much as I hate to say it, I still think that rule applies. No matter how many women a man has been with, he's not viewed as a hoe. However, if a woman is with that same number, she could be construed as the hoe of the century. Not fair but that's how it is.
IMO, your numbers don't matter. And I personally don't need or want to know. What do those other chicks matter now? As long as they are no longer in the picture and you have a clean bill of health, your past is YOUR PAST.

It's funny that you asked about someone losing their life over an omission...my aunt was murdered by her boyfriend when he found out she dated someone he used to know in high school. *smh* Sometimes people can't handle the fact that you had a life before you met them.

Sorry for posting and not just commenting... :-/

Desy said...

i am all up in people's business, but i have never heard of relationships falling apart over the number or things to do with the past (unless the past doesn't stay that way)...

Eb the Celeb said...

Women have to lie... because men are that insecure... there is always a real number and the number we tell you... men really cannot handle it... they want to know... but cant handle if its more than expected...

I think we all know what constitutes whorish activity and that is not measured by a number... its measured by your actions..

there could be a chick that has slept with 20 guys... but made each of them wait until the 90day rule... that does not mean she is a whore... it just didnt work out with them men she let indulge.

there is no easy answer to this question... i think as women we are okay with the number even if it is something outrageous like over 100 just because we hope that you have already sowed your royal oats per se and are ready to be in a committed relationship by the time you get to us.

Love this musiq song by the way...

Shaka said...

"Whorish" is a mentality to me. If a person is willing to give it up to anything and everything and almost "wants" it to be known....that's whorish. Mentally it's related to either your sense of self worth or your methods of getting attention.

I think the whole # question is ridiculous. As long as you are HEALTHY, I don't care what you've put your penis in before me (expect if it were family lol). But real talk, I think it's just an excuse for those who judge someone upon their number without even knowing the circumstances around it....

You're in the here and now...why dwell on the past.

Previous cats is that joint.

Charece said...

A whores whether they be male or female is someone who sleep with any and everybody and can hold there heads high with pride feeling absolutely no kind of way about their actions. If you do not at least know the persons last name you should we ashamed of yourself. People got stoned for that type of mess back in the day.

As for the second question...I personally try and avoid the question beign asked or answered from both parties.

dejanae said...

hey what bout me?
lmao

i say whats in the past is in the past
i would hope the person was discriminating with their partners however
ur ass betta be clean is what im tryna say

swag_ambassador said...

I like everyones answers on this one, simply because not every answer is the same. But they all come around to the same street.. so thanks for the insights