Tuesday, January 8, 2008

..S.W.A.G

Is it cars.. is it girls.. is it money?...the world?

*currently bumping "the fighters"-Lupe fiasco*


Neva me against the world is how I look to the skies. As I crawl into 08 on my last leg of 07, which was a trying year to say the least, I recall so many emotions that were exposed in the 365 perilously frightening and eye opening days that I was supposed to believe would be a great year for me.

I have shifted my overall focus from 2007 which was to have fun and enjoy the last half of my jordan year, to the seriousness that my life has become in 2008. Its truly amazing how much sight you can lose in a span of 365 measly days. How you can feel like your floating one day, and then 6 feet under the next. Those who read this and may not know me, should know that my turnaround rate of anger is extrmeley quick. I can be angry about something one day, and as I think more about it, it will become more irrelevant and the next day, will be a pure after thought. Whether it be someone hating, me not getting a job I wanted, getting scolded, messing up a relationship with someone.. I have an extreme quickness in my jump back ability.

A downfall? possibly. The fact that I know Im like that makes me believe its a blessing. A blessing to not dwell on the small things, and focus on the biggest picture of all.. That I need to focus on bettering myself without the distractions. The blurs of the hearsay, the bulbous amounts of information placed into ones head that really doesnt need to be there. I just disregard it. However, if it is high in importance, I will evaluate.

2008, yea I know we always talk about, "well if you werent doin anything to change yourself before the new year comes you really aint gon be shit when you hit the new year".. But wy cant one have hope they will change. A change doesnt come at the strike of midnight, jan 1 of the next year.. But the hope of a new start, the ability to press the reset button gives me a sense of comfort. I told myself that this year, I am getting rid of the inconsistencies in life.. and ya know what.. how funny that on january 2nd, I decided and was at peace with a decision I made to release a bacteria in my life. A cancerous friend. and I feel good about it. They aint here for the equality that a friendship entails, only selfish gain. So poof..

On to the grind. On to the possiblity that I may have someone in my life this year that could change my aspects of thinking in more ways then one. On to the posting everyday on my blog if i have to, just to say hello or peace and blessings to you who might read it.On to stopping the biting of my nails.. not extending myself to others who really dont need it. Making my decision final in something I do or dont wanna do, and not being wishy washy in my thoughts.. On to running full speed ahead at this game called life, cause right now I feel as if im just jogging.. I look back at 07, and I didnt smile as much as i did in 06 , or years b4... I frown a lot more, (thanks T for rubbin those wrinkles outta ma head when i do LOL, lookin out for me when i get older ). So on to smiling, and being ACTUALLY happy, and reaping the benefits of my hard work. On to my spirituality stepping its game up, and remembering where I come from, how much support system I have, and who is really important.

I question myself everyday as I look in the mirror.. in this world, as you go through everyday.. am I relevant?.... if not, whose job is it to make me relevant.. and ultimatley, I look at that mirror and see the face smiling back at me and tellin all the world... "here i come...."


Yall aint ready... or are you.

2 comments:

Eb the Celeb said...

We ready for you to start blogging everyday... and definitely ready for you to stop biting them nails... tsk...tsk!

Case Quarter said...

hey! i really like your blog...